Why Indian daughters are expected to do what sons aren’t after marriage?
Being a woman, even in these modern times, is definitely a task. At every walk of life, girls, daughters, wives and mothers, each one of them might have experienced a sense of restriction, a feeling of inferiority or have been deprived of their right to make decisions pertaining to their own lives. Especially, when it concerns their conjugal life. Many of us believe that marriages are made in heaven, but how many women feel the same? While almost nothing after a marriage changes for a man, women have to leave their parent’s home, they have to sacrifice their life-goals, and they may even be asked to give up on their jobs, their surname, and whatnot. The sad thing about this entire episode in a girl’s life is not that she has to adhere to the traditional societal roles, but the fact that it is completely normalised in our community and one is coerced rather than asked, is what is depressing. While many may blame the deep-rooted patriarchy in our culture and society, we must introspect and reflect on the things that we can undo. Here are some of the customs and traditions, we must rethink about:
02/6The idea of daughters being ‘Paraya Dhan’
‘Paraya Dhan’ meaning someone else’s wealth. That is what the fate of a woman looks like in many Indian societies. Daughters are born and raised in their parent’s home, only to be given away to their in-laws after marriage. While there’s no problem in leaving one’s home and settling in one’s husband’s home, but there is always the matter of choice that’s being violated in this entire process. Due to the repetitive practices of this custom, the idea of a ‘Paraya Dhan’ becomes so ingrained in our minds that it doesn’t even seem like a violation of rights at all. And as the women have grown up with these values, they do not even see a point in resisting. That’s how every traditional belief and values continues to reign over our societies.
03/6The making of an ideal daughter
What is an ideal daughter, especially in an Indian context? From the time we learn to comprehend and understand things, we are educated with different ideas, concepts and also ways of living. Similarly, a young girl is taught and prepared to be an ideal daughter-in-law, considering the fact that she is already a ‘paraya dhan’. Rather than gaining knowledge from her own experiences and living a life of independence, she is ripped off of a choice and made to believe in the only fate that awaits her.
04/6Being restricted to the domestic life
For eons, women have been subjected to the domestic realm. Even today, where our world has touched the heights of modernity, the plight of many unfortunate women remains the same as before. At every crossroad, a woman has to make choices that only satisfy the demands of society. While a wife must choose her home over her career or her husband’s surname over her own, a mother must give up her aspirations to take care of her children, regardless of having a husband, who is equally accountable to the domestic realm.
05/6A much-awaited change in prospect?
Customs and traditions are the strengths of every society, but when the time comes, they must adhere to changes. Similarly, for ages, women have faced unequal treatments and have been deprived of their rights in the name of traditions. However, with time, things have changed and women are being recognised for their abilities and are being given the opportunities they deserve. But we are still far away from our goals as yet, aren’t we?
06/6Encourage our daughters, rather than conditioning them to traditions
Instead of teaching our daughters to be ideal daughters-in-law, why not educate them enough to make them independent and self-sufficient. Rather than preparing them to be good wives, we must make our daughters realize their own goals in life and prepare them to achieve their dreams. Our daughters deserve as much respect and support to grow in our society as our sons, right?