When the wrong girl is your mum’s favourite

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We had dated for a year when I sent Agartha home to meet my mum. I wasn’t surprised by my mum’s sudden love for her. She fit all the descriptions my mum wanted in the woman I would marry. She is tall, fair, and spoke mum’s choice of language. She said, “You honour me, my son. This is the kind of woman you bring home to meet the family. ‘Ne ho twa ankasa.’ We all laughed but I knew what she was talking about and I will explain it to you later. 

Agartha and my mum built some kind of mother-daughter relationship that mostly happened at my blind spot. She called my mum everyday and they both gossiped about me. She went to my mum’s place often to cook for her, clean for her, and even ran some important errands for her. Not only that. She ensured my mum’s fridge never lacked any essential food items. 

Truth be told, my mum wasn’t in good physical shape, mostly because of old age. Her husband—my dad, died a couple of years ago and she had struggled to live life all by herself. Agartha coming around often indeed made her heart cheered. She needed all the help Agartha could offer and Agartha never relented in providing the help she needed. 

The first year of our relationship was very rosy. She was there when I needed her and there was nothing she wouldn’t do to make our relationship thick. It’s a man’s thing to love who he has but if what he has is lovely, he loves unconditionally and gives it his all. Between me and her, it was a forever journey and both of us understood it right from the start.

Months after I had introduced her to my mum, she posted a certain guy on her Whatsapp status wishing him a happy birthday. I didn’t give it much thought at first until I started seeing this guy on all her social media platforms. She had him on Facebook with a different message. She had him on Instagram with a message deeper than what was on Facebook. She changed her Facebook and Whatsapp profile pictures and used the guy’s photos. 

We had been dating for close to two years and it was my first time of seeing or hearing about such a guy. I asked who he was and she said, “He’s someone who helped me immensely some years ago. I don’t hear from him often so on his birthday, I do that to show appreciation.” That made a lot of sense so I dropped jealousy.

We hardly see things we don’t know about but the very day you get to know about it, we’ll see it every day. I started seeing the guy’s name often and heard her talk about him often too. That guy’s name is Augustine. He works at one of the banks Agatha keeps her money. They became friends because anytime Agatha goes to the bank, however long the queue is, the guy will ensure Agatha is served as soon as possible. He took Agatha’s number and called her some times and their friendship started blossoming from that point on. 

From the investigation I did, they were new friends and as such, there was no way the guy could have helped her “immensely some years ago” unless she was referring to the fast services he gave her any time she went to the bank. I made no fuss about this truth. Instead, I decided to put my eyes on the ground and study what was happening.

In December that year, he invited Agartha to their end of year party. 

Agatha told me that day that she would be attending a friend’s program. I called her in the evening and asked which of her friend’s program she was attending and she said, Emelia. At 11:30pm that night she called me; “The program ended some few minutes ago. I’m on my way going home but first thing tomorrow morning, I would come to your place.”

About an hour later, she sent me a message, “Babe, I just got home. I’m too tired I don’t think I can take my bath. See you tomorrow morning.” I was sitting in front of her door when that message came. I waited for a while and called her back. She didn’t pick up. I sat in front of her door throughout the night, waiting for her to return. It was around 7:am when she called to tell me she was on her way going to my house. I sat still in front of her door, thinking she would pass by the house before going to my house. 

Hours later, she called me; “I’ve been knocking at your door but you’re not responding, where are you?” I told her, “I’ve been at your door since last night. Where did you sleep?” She was so shocked she couldn’t speak immediately. “You mean you’re at my place?” I told her to wait for me. Some minutes later I was at my door. She was neatly dressed and looking freshly polished like someone who left the house not too long ago.

“You told me you were home last night but you didn’t sleep home. Where did you go?” 

“Sorry I didn’t tell you. I didn’t want you to be worried. It was late so I slept at Eme’s house.”

“You’re lying…”

“If you don’t believe what I’m saying, you can verify from Emelia. Here, take my phone and speak to her.”

Emelia was such a bad witness or maybe she wasn’t well briefed. I asked her, “Agartha says she slept at your end last night, is it true?” She said, “Yeah I was with her all night. She wanted to go home after the program but looking at how late it was, I convinced her to sleep at my end.” I asked again, “Did you see her when she left your end this morning?” She said yes. I said, “She’s here with me wearing a white straight dress and holding a brown leather bag, was that how she was dressed when she was leaving your house?” She screamed, “Oh yeah, that’s exactly how she was dressed when leaving my house. I don’t think she passed anywhere before coming to your end.” I said thank you and hang up the phone.

Agatha wasn’t in a straight dress. She was wearing a black skirt and a blue and white checkered sleeveless shirt. “I knew where you were. You were with that guy all night and it was his place you slept last night. If it’s him you want, no problem, you can go to him now.”

It was over from that point. I didn’t know what else she could say or do to convince me to take her back. It took her a whole week before she confessed to me. It was too late. I had gotten rid of her from my mind. 

  A week or so later, I went to visit my mum and she was there. She was pretending in front of my mother as though everything was alright between us. I gave her the respect and played along but the next day, I called my mum and told her everything. I told her we were no longer together because I caught her cheating. Listen to what my mum said, “You’re crazy to think you’ll let a woman like this go just because you think she cheated on you. Don’t even think of that. Whatever the issue is, we’ll settle it. She’ll apologise to you, you’ll accept it then we move on.”

I was so shocked I didn’t know what to say. “On whose side is this woman? A girl cheated on your son and all you can say is to take her back?” In the first paragraph, I told you I’ll explain why she said what she said when I introduced Agatha to her the first time. My mum had spent most of her time impressing it on me to marry someone from our hometown. She wanted me to marry someone from our tribe. Agatha didn’t come from my hometown but belongs to our tribe. She spoke our language and had the complexion of a typical tribeswoman. 

That was the reason why my mum took an immediate liking to her. 

She swore in my face that it was either Agartha or no one else. 

I didn’t mind. Some situations ought to be left the way they are. I thought with time Agartha will fade out but she proved to me that she was determined to stick around no matter what. Close to a year later, I had a new girlfriend. A girl I met at an event. When we started seeing ourselves as a thing, I told her the story of Agartha because I knew somewhere it would pop up and it did.

Agartha found out about her and started sending her threatening messages. “You’re playing with fire if you think you can snatch my boyfriend from me.” I looked for her and warned her to stop it before I make it a police case. I sat my mum down and spoke to her honestly like every son will do when it comes to their mother. This woman was insistent on Agartha. I asked, “Is it because of what she does for you? I can get someone to do that for you so I pay her. This girl cheated on me because she didn’t like me that much. I can’t stay with her.”

She responded, “Your dad cheated on me too. Not once, not twice but we lived peacefully until his demise. You can do the same too but if you don’t want to be with Agartha, you can wait. When I’m dead and gone, you can marry whoever you want to marry.”

Not that I can’t go ahead and marry without her consent. I can and I’ve planned to do that but I want to give her that honour as my only surviving parent. I want her to carry her grandchildren in her arms before she dies but her attitude is delaying everything. Sometimes I’m tempted to believe it’s juju that girl is using on my mum just to block my progress. I just can’t make any sense from the whole thing. 

I’ve given myself a year. If she doesn’t change her stand, I will go ahead and marry without her. Agatha had her chance, she messed it up. It’s time to give someone else the chance and see where the tides will take us to and I swear I’m not going to let anyone stand on my way. 

Sarfo, Ghana

#Silentbeads