We are still a long way from being a society that deals with menstruation properly, but it is past time to begin the process, and one important step in that direction is teaching our men how to act when their partners are going through periods.
Because our attitudes toward menstruating women are particularly regressive, with a good mix of taboos in our “culture,” Nigerian men must go above and beyond to make women feel at ease during their periods.
Before we get into the details, remember this golden rule: it’s all about her for those few days. It is all about HER, not about what YOU think or feel. Unless you’re convulsing on the floor, she’s the one who’s having a hard time, not you.
Don’t be smug about it
Understand and acknowledge that this is a difficult time. It is indeed as excruciatingly painful as she claims. You can’t possibly imagine going through that kind of pain every month, so don’t pretend you do.
Simply acknowledging that you understand her pain and that you are there for her is a good first step. Don’t tell her it’s not a big deal; it is for her. And, as a caring partner, you should try to assist.
It’s not disgusting, and she’s not ill
If you keep watching Game of Thrones after all the bloodletting, you’ll become accustomed to a natural process.
Stop being disgusted, and reassure her that she isn’t disgusting, period or no period. Also, it isn’t a disease or illness, so don’t treat her that way.
Be nice to her but not patronizing
Be patient and make her feel better. Endure it and move on if she is hyperventilating. Don’t be irritated by her nervousness. Pay attention to her, and be courteous, but don’t belittle her.
Assist her in every way you can
You should also help her with her chores. Finish work early and avoid social gatherings during this time.
Wash her clothes, clean the kitchen, go grocery shopping, cook dinner, and if she asks you to get water from the refrigerator while she relaxes on the couch watching a romantic comedy, just do it. It isn’t going to kill you.
Provide her with physical support
Give her a warm hug, and if you have large hands, give her a relaxing massage. A back rub or a foot massage can be extremely beneficial.
Allow her to sit on your lap and cuddle if she so desires. Taking her hand in yours could help her feel better.
Do whatever you can to make her feel better
If she requests something, just give it to her. Get her some sanitary napkins and medicines. Book the tickets if she wants to go to the movies, and get the car out as soon as possible if she wants to return halfway.
Reserve a table for her if she wants to go out for the evening. Allow her to remain alone in her room if she wishes. Anything she loves, have them at the ready.
Suggest healthy habits, but don’t lecture
You can recommend healthy habits such as avoiding junk food and eating a balanced diet, as well as abstaining from intoxicants.
But don’t make suggestions; she already knows what she wants. If it’s a habit you want her to break, wait until her periods are finished.
Make yourself sexually available
This is crucial. Some women become horny during or shortly after their periods. There is a perception that this can be a messy affair; some people believe this, while others do not.
No one can make someone have sex, but if she’s horny, getting into the sack with her and doing whatever she wants, however she wants it, can be a nice gesture.
You can clean it up later if it’s a mess. Don’t forget to change the sheets when she’s finished; it’s your responsibility.