Sometimes in our state of frustration, we throw a challenge to God and see what may happen. I got to a point in my relationship life that there was nothing I could do but test God and see how he may come through for me. Yes, I didn’t expect anything but somehow I had faith that something may happen if I surrender all to him.
It was the week before my 30th birthday. The youth fellowship of my church was having a three-day retreat so I decided to join. On the first day, we fasted and prayed. I didn’t fast. I went there asking God to give me a husband. Nothing happened. The second day I fasted. I prayed and asked God: “If it’s your will for me to get married, please show your face.” Nothing happened. On the third day too, I did the same and nothing happened.
Retreat over. God didn’t show me anything. Well, it was expected.
And then I continued the fasting and prayers for the whole week tabling all the disappointments I’d gone through because of men: “God, you remember Kwame? Yeah, that guy. He was so good I thought you sent him to me but I lost him just the time I thought everything was going very well. Do you remember that half-albino guy? He too, I don’t know what happened that he left me. You are my witness, I gave him the ultimate love believing it’s love for a man that makes him stay with his woman. He too left without saying goodbye. He ghosted me until I felt there was nothing to hold on to. And then the drummer I believed you threw into my life. That guy at the corner of the church playing the drums innocently, yeah, you remember him? He too passed through, made a meal of me and disappeared. God I know it’s because I didn’t commit these relationships into your hands that’s’ why they didn’t succeed. I stand on your word today and ask you for a husband because you have said that you’ll give only when we ask. So I’m asking you, please provide.”
That night, I slept and dreamt of Luther. In the dream, both of us were living in the same place. I called him “Me wura” and he responded with a smile. Luther is one of the guys in the church who comes to church today and disappears for about two months before he comes again. He’s not well known in the church because he belongs to none of the church groups. He was like a shadow, passing through the church without any footprint. I doubted if the pastor of the church knew him. Worse of all, he was also unemployed.
I didn’t want to believe he was the one. I checked the food I ate before going to sleep that night and decided not to eat the same thing again. It simply can’t be Luther so I prayed a prayer again asking God to confirm. For a whole month, no dream. No sign. Nothing. I was growing lean because of the fasting. My husband has to find me in my best form so I gave up fasting. About a month or so later, I dreamt a dream again. It was Luther that appeared. In the dream, we had a fight or something. I don’t remember clearly but I remember he was angry and I was trying to talk him out of the anger. When I woke up, I said, “God please say something before I commit a mistake.”
The next Sunday, I spoke to my pastor about it. He said he’ll take it up in prayer and see what God has to say. Three months later, I dreamt of Luther again. I called my pastor that morning and told him about it. He said, “I’ve prayed about it but I haven’t received any confirmation but all these dreams can’t be for nothing. Take action, if it’s God’s will, everything would work out just fine.” After talking to the pastor I said to God, “Massa, you know my situation paa and how urgent I want this thing. So why would you throw an unemployed youth my way? This is not what I prayed for, and you know it. Please do something new la. I want something new.”
The next time Luther came to church, I approached him. He was overly receptive. I only wanted to say hi but he was all over me trying to get me to talk more and stick around him. After church, he walked up to me and told me he was leaving. I told him: “I hope it wouldn’t be a year before I see you in church again.” He laughed and said: “Stop embarrassing me. I will come next week.” So the next week he came. The following week, he came again. Every Sunday after church, he walked me home, and soon we were inseparable. We talked about the future and we talked about what we want in our respective futures. He said: “I’ve given myself a year to find a job, if nothing happens, I’ll start something on my own.” I asked him what he intends to start and he said: “Anything. Anything at all to keep my head above the water.”
We were friends for six months before he proposed and I said yes. I saw the fire in his strides. He was always doing something, looking for something or trying to work out something. It was when I got closer to him that I got to know the reasons he wasn’t coming to church often. One of his friends’ father had a soap company so he went there on some Sundays to work so he could make some money for himself. I started helping out. Nothing flashy but little money here and there.
One afternoon, he called me on phone. He sounded very excited. He said: “Guess what…” I said, “You’ve had a job?” He said, “No try again.” I asked, “An interview?” He said, “Nooo, it’s greater than these things you’re mentioning. Try harder.” Then I remembered he was into sports betting so I asked, “You won a bet?” He said, “You’re getting close, try, try.” I said, “I’m exhausted. Now you tell me what it is.” He said, “It’s the American lottery. I had a call. I’m going to America!” After the joy and celebration, we came face to face with the ultimate question. “Where’s the money to do all the necessary documents for his travel?”
His mother gathered something from family and friends and he too did the same but it couldn’t cover a quarter of the expenses. Time was running out so all I could do was to take a loan from the bank for him. I was scared but it was the only option available. I told him: “Kindly work hard and help me pay the loan else I’m screwed.” He said: “Don’t you believe me again?” He went to the USA in November 2010. A year later we paid the loan. The following year, I stood next to his picture in my family house and got married to his image while he was at work in the USA. In October 2014, I sat in a plane for the first time. As the plane took off and everything below started getting smaller, I started thinking of how small our beginning was and how far the Lord had brought us and all my heart could do was to rejoice.
On our fifth anniversary, he said: “Do you know I had a dream of you the night before you said hello to me in church?” I asked, “You did?” He said, “Yeah I did.” I asked: “What did you see in the dream?” He said: “I don’t really remember but I do recall you called me “Me wura” and I said something stupid that made you smile.” I wanted to tell him mine but my eyes got teary. I didn’t want to cry so I kept quiet. Next year would be our 10th anniversary. That’s when I would tell him about the fasting and dreams that brought him to me.
—Nina