Waiting until marriage to have sex is a personal decision that requires careful consideration and planning.
Every relationship is different and there’s no “right way” to be intimate with your partner. While people some find their journey to a committed relationship and marriage starting with sex, others decide on waiting for marriage to have sex and get engaged before ever being physically intimate with each other.
However, “waiting for marriage” to have sex can mean something different to each couple. That’s because some couples have mutually decided to wait until marriage before having sexual intercourse while others have committed at some point in their relationship to change up their sex life and put a pause on it until their wedding day. And for others, one partner has been sexually active in past relationships while the other has not, but has agreed to wait until marriage for their first time together.
For those couples who decide to wait until their wedding night instead of having premarital sex, there can be a variety of reasons why they made this decision. Whatever the reason may be, here are some things you should know:
Why “wait for marriage” to have sex?
Although this a controversial topic with both sides tending to have passionate and often polarizing points of view, you do not need a sexual relationship to determine compatibility or to build a strong partnership.
Of course, sex is part of a relationship, but it’s not the foundation. When you take sex off the table, you can more clearly see if the two of you are truly compatible.
Waiting until marriage to have sex for the first time can also be an excellent practice of self-control. It requires lots of conviction. Conviction is about being self-assured and doing what you feel is the right thing for yourself. Ultimately, people choose to wait until marriage in the hopes that it will strengthen the relationship as a whole, and will also make the intimacy even more meaningful when the time comes.
It’s important to understand that waiting until marriage doesn’t mean someone is necessarily a virgin. They may have had sex previously but regardless, have decided to wait until marriage in subsequent relationships. Some look back on their past and see destructive elements of sex, whether it was in previous relationships or promiscuity, and want to change their behaviours to cultivate an enriching and meaningful relationship for the future.
Things to consider before deciding to “wait until marriage” before having sex
- Personal values and beliefs
Why do you want to wait until marriage to have sex? Are these values and beliefs consistent with your partner’s values and beliefs?
- Communication with your partner
It’s important to have an open and honest conversation with your partner about your decision to wait until marriage to have sex. Discuss your reasons, expectations, and boundaries.
- Emotional and physical intimacy
While waiting until marriage for sex may be important to you, it’s also important to develop emotional and physical intimacy with your partner in other ways. This includes holding hands, hugging, kissing, and spending quality time together.
- Sexual health
It’s important to understand and discuss sexual health with your partner, even if you plan to wait until marriage to have sex. This includes discussing safe sex practices, getting tested for sexually transmitted infections (STIs), and talking about birth control options.
- Peer pressure
Waiting until marriage for sex can be challenging in today’s society, where premarital sex is often portrayed as the norm. It’s important to surround yourself with supportive friends and family who respect your decision.
- Support and resources
Seek support from friends, family, or a religious or community organization that shares your values. You may also want to read books or attend classes that provide guidance and support for couples who choose to wait until marriage to have sex.