Getting over a breakup can be hard, especially when there are added factors making it more difficult to move on. Oftentimes, however, there are things you can avoid that will make getting over your ex a lot easier.
INSIDER spoke with relationship expert Rori Sassoon to find out what’s making it harder for you to move on after a breakup.
Getting over a breakup can be hard, especially when there are added factors making it more difficult to move on. Oftentimes, however, there are things you can avoid that will make getting over your ex a lot easier.
INSIDER spoke with relationship expert Rori Sassoon to find out what’s making it harder for you to move on after a breakup.
“Social media in today’s day and age is also a nightmare when you’re trying to heal from a breakup,” Sassoon said. “Because you don’t want to see that stuff.” Most of the time it’s better to unfollow your ex on social media or take a break, so you can take the time to really get away from them.
You’re getting stuck in your own insecurity.
“It depends on who broke up with who,” Sassoon said. She said oftentimes if you were the one broken up with, you’re thinking, “‘Am I ever gonna find someone who’s gonna treat me like that [again]?'”
You’re still talking to your ex.
“Continuing to text them and meet up with them,” Sassoon said, is definitely going to make it harder to move on. Because then there’s also what Sassoon calls “the sex factor.”
You’re refusing to date or see anyone else.
“It always takes someone to get over someone else,” Sassoon said. “Yes we all need to look inside ourselves and see what we could do better, but I think that when you’re really fixated on someone, the last person is automatically the one you think about.”
You’re keeping the gifts your ex gave you.
If you keep mementos of your relationship around, you’re just going to be reminded of the good times you had together. It’s almost always better to throw away (or sell) everything your ex gave you, so you have less that reminds you of them, and are also able to have a fresh start completely apart from them.
You’re refusing to get better.
“It’s not a problem to take time for yourself, as long as you surround yourself with people that make you feel good about yourself,” Sassoon said. “Sometimes you need comfort and to be surrounded by your own people, and it’s going to take time to heal and trust another person.”
But, Sassoon said, you need to “look inside yourself to say, ‘Was I my best self?’ Unless you’re introspective, you’re not going to grow or get better … Don’t get fixated or obsessed, but why not be the best version of you for the next relationship.”