As society evolves around factors such as social media and western influences, our outlook on life becomes reshaped and remolded in lots of ways – sometimes drastically, at other times, subtly.
Take relationships for example. While the traditional romantic relationships still exist and remain the most ideal for a lot of people, variations such as friendship with benefits and open relationships also exist, all dependent on the level of commitment and satisfaction people seek to give and get from partners.
Another non-traditional relationship you probably do not know about [and you absolutely should] is the boy-toy affair.
This is a sexual relationship initiated by a woman and is essentially about her.
It is what you often get when a woman gets out of a relationship, marriage or just when she just feels like it, goes after a guy for nothing but the sexual benefits.
The boy-toy relationship is pretty much something of a midpoint between having an affair with a ‘cougar’ and being in a ‘friendship with benefits.’
In case you do not know, a “cougar is a slang term referring to a woman who seeks sexual activity with significantly younger men,” according to Wikipedia.
But unlike a cougar, the woman initiating this boy toy relationship does not have to be older than the guy and does not necessarily have to fund his lifestyle like cougars are known to do.
Also, unlike in a friendship with benefits relationship which is more of a two-sided thing, the boy toy affair leans towards the woman’s whims and pleasure and she pretty much controls all that happens while the ‘relationship’ lasts.
The meeting dates, venues, all that stuff… she’s in charge. That’s why Urban dictionary defines a guy in such relationship as a “boy who will bend over backwards to do anything for a girl, knowing full well that the girl is using him.”
Make no mistake about it. This is all about the woman and when women make these choices they’ve been known to choose someone with whom the chance of a relationship is so low or inexistent.
So this makes it easy to keep that emotional distance. She wants you just for knacks. So there’s no point asking for dates, appointments and meetings. All that happens is sex, and that’s ONLY at her convenience.
The appeal for guys here is the idea of being desired and pursued. Men, being sex-loving creatures often accept such an agreement.
There’s no definitive way to know for sure how frequent this relationship occurs in the Nigerian society, but like other relationship variants mentioned above, it does exist.
The reason for this is apparent enough; there are sexually-liberated women who do not shy away from exercising their sexual freedom and there’ll always be men who’ll see no qualms in indulging them by agreeing to be their boy toys.