Are you having sex the right or wrong way?
It’s no secret that many couples have mixed signals on exactly what their partner wants in the bedroom. But sex doesn’t have to be complicated or confusing.
The last thing someone wants to do in bed is to offend their partner.
You don’t need champagne or satin sheets to have a great sex life, but you do need to watch out for these common sex mistakes. Here are some things to note and work on it.
- Thinking orgasms are the end point of sex
Orgasming is amazing and you deserve to orgasm. It’s understandable to assume that coming is the most important marker of good sex. But people fake orgasms pretty frequently, according to research, often to not wound their partner’s pride. And the only reason to do that is the belief that orgasms are the only and ultimate point of sex.
The truth is, sex is so much better when you focus less on the big finish and more on pleasure throughout the experience. You can definitely have good sex without orgasming.
- Believing good sex is only about chemistry
Good sex takes work. But most people assume otherwise.
Hot sex requires attraction, sure, but it also requires effort; usually, that means excruciatingly honest conversations about what you want in bed. Most of us are pretty unpracticed about talking about sex in ways that don’t feel awkward, in part because we’ve never had great avenues to talk about sex.
It’s not like you need to spill every sexual thought and feeling you have right away with a new partner. But if you are interested in having sex with the same partner for a while, it’s worth it.
- Limiting your definition of sex
Most people think of sex as the penetration part and that everything else is a sideshow to the main event. But this limited view reduces your options.
It creates unnecessary pressure, and it excludes a whole variety of other fun-filled activities.
When you include other sexual acts under the umbrella term of ‘sex’ – oral, hand jobs, fingering, ‘heavy petting’ – you diversify your sexual experience, and spice up your sex life.
Even including things like erotic dance, sexting, dirty talk, and sensual kissing can have huge benefits for your sex life.