1. What to do if your lover does not want to get married
Relationships can be tricky and sometimes, put us in some really complex situations. You might have been dating someone since quite some time and everything is going pretty well. You have started wondering what future holds for ‘both’ of you and when you hint at marriage, your partner clarifies he/she is not interested in marriage. But wait, instead of instantly deciding to argue or part your ways, here’s how you can deal with this situation.
2. What’s the reason?
First of all, try to understand why your significant other is against the idea of getting marriage? Is it because he/she had a terrible break up in their past and is still nursing a broken heart? Is your partner is pretty clear and firm he/she would be happier without tying the knot? Or, he/she simply likes you and has not thought about the future yet? Figuring out the exact reason would help you to understand your partner’s frame of mind and deal with the situation in a more pragmatic manner.
3. What about your feelings?
Before coming down to any conclusion, it is really important that you gain clarity about what are your needs from a partner and a relationship. What makes you think you can marry your partner in future? Is it just infatuation or you are actually in love? Will your lover be a good husband/wife? Keeping the love aside, would you be able to manage your finances together? Most importantly, ask yourself what marriage means to you and why you want to take this step?
4. Maybe, give things time
There could be chances that you have jumped the gun or your partner needs more time to understand you better as a person before deciding about marriage. If it feels right to you and there is not any time constraint, you can give this relationship some more time and see how it unfolds.
5. Different expectation levels?
In case, your lover and you have different set of expectations from the relationship and cannot find the middle ground, it is better to part ways. There is no point investing your emotions, time and energy into a relationship that cannot cater to your needs and in turn has no future.
6. Have the talk!
Once you have thought about this situation from all the perspectives, it is the time to discuss it with your partner. Have an honest discussion about what you are feelings and how you both are on a different page. Be a patient listener and see what you partner has to opine, and try to come up with a mutually-acceptable solution.
7. Appreciate your partner’s honesty
It is okay if you and your partner have different needs from a relationship but make sure you appreciate his/her honest nature. At least, you both have clarity about what is the best for you and nobody is being duped. You might not have thought about it but it is rare that you meet people who decide to stay truthful in testing circumstances and do not give anyone false hopes for their own vested interests.
8. Remember this!
Many of us end up staying in a relationship hoping things would be fine one day or expect a miracle to solve all the issues. But life isn’t a fairy tale or an unrealistic romantic movie, right? How long would you be able to stay happy and content in your relationship when you know it cannot go the distance? How would you deal with the emotional trauma when you would finally part your way with your lover after years of staying together? It might be difficult to break up right now but it is surely better than living in an illusion. Look for a partner who shares a similar vision and can add more happiness to your already existing happy world. It’s your life, shape it the way you want.
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