Question: I am 38 years old and I got married a few months ago. Due to lockdown I am spending more time with my husband and being a newlywed I should be happy about it but I am not.
I miss my privacy and I miss my independence. Is this normal behavior expected from a newlywed?
Response by Dr Ishita Mukerji: The lockdown is an unimaginable situation and absolutely no one could have been ever prepared themselves for such long term social confinements. In your case, the situation is a little challenging but has great possibility to be turned into an opportunity for a strong, healthy and fulfilling relationship.
One of the reasons you are looking for privacy is may be because there is no qualitative interaction between you and your spouse. You are surely spending time with each other physically however, are living in mental isolation.
As you have stated that it’s been only a few months of your marriage, there is ample scope for you both to take an adventure trip into each other’s life. There is so much to explore and do activities together.
Foremost, I would suggest that you should try out couple exercise routines. Such videos are aplenty on social media channels.
Next, you can find common interests which may be plant care, cooking, board games, DIY home crafts etc. This will keep you busy qualitatively as a couple and give space to each one of you to open up and build confidence and appreciation for the companionship.
Create memories and remember you may never get such an opportunity to spend time together like this again
Try to keep at least an hour for yourself. Alone time gives us the opportunity to focus on ourselves as well as explore our other interests. It allows all our relationships with our friends and family to grow healthy too.
You must discuss about your individual bucket list, dreams, aspirations, fears, strengths, talents, career plans etc. Such quality conversations will trigger you both to keep exploring each other better.
Also, remember this lockdown is a temporary phase. So, the feeling you are having currently is very natural and it will fade away too. Once the situation becomes better and back to normal, you both will be busy in your scheduled life and then you both will crave for this time which you have got now.
Enjoy this period fully while giving space to each other at the same time, as balance is the key to a beautiful marriage!