Dear Coleen
I’m a happily married man in my 60s and find myself in the strange position of trying to ward off attention from one of my wife’s friends. She’s a single lady and very vivacious and attractive, and when she’s had a glass of wine, she’s flirtatious with me.
We had some drinks at a friend’s house a few nights ago, and while my wife was talking to some other guests, this woman beckoned me into the kitchen, pulled me up against the fridge and kissed me.
I was shocked to say the least, blurted something out about not being interested, and then made a hasty retreat back to the party.
I thought that would be the end of it, but then I saw her in town and she was batting her eyes at me and suggested a “re-run” of the other night. She wasn’t embarrassed in the slightest.
What am I to make of this and should I say something to my wife?
Coleen says
Yes, why not mention it to your wife? I’m sure she’ll back you up and will probably step in to help if this friend makes a move on you at the next party.
You could also just be direct with the woman herself – tell her in no uncertain terms that you’re not in the market for an affair.
Think of how this situation would be perceived if you were a woman and she were a man harassing you in this way.
Tell her you have a wonderful marriage and her behaviour is making you feel uncomfortable, and it’s not acceptable.
Sometimes you have to tell it like it is and leave no room for misinterpretation. Hopefully she’ll get the message and move on.