Dear Coleen
About 10 years ago, my mother came to me for help as she overheard my father telling my sister that he was going to Cyprus on holiday, but wouldn’t be coming back, as he wanted to pass away over there.
My mum spoke no English and all the household bills were in my dad’s name, so she needed advice. When my sister found out my mum had asked me for help, she called my father in Cyprus and he came back. Then things got very difficult.
My father and sister made it impossible for me and my family to see or speak to my mother – he’d either hang up the phone or slam the door in my face when we visited.
My sister even applied for a non-molestation order against me and my family. Social services were involved, but my sister would always be at the meetings with my mother, so I can only imagine how she was translating what my mum said. My father passed away four years ago and my sister sold her house and moved into my parents’ home (along with her boyfriend) to care for my mother, and she’s been made deputy over her affairs.
We found out my parents’ house in Cyprus has been transferred to my sister’s name (not my mother’s) and the money in my father’s account has been moved or withdrawn.
I’m worried my sister has hidden my parents’ money, so when my mother dies, there will be no inheritance for me and my family.
My mother has always been adamant that she wants things to be split evenly. I’m at a loss as to what I can do.
However, she doesn’t want to meet me, so I know there’s no future there.
Is it normal to feel like this or is it time to walk away from my marriage?
Coleen says
In terms of your rights to an inheritance, I think the only way forward is to get professional legal advice on what your options are. All I can do is advise you on the emotional and relationship side of things.
You could try appealing to your sister and asking her if she’d be willing to sit down and discuss things with you.
Hopefully, a conversation wouldn’t only be about your inheritance, but also about your relationship with your mother, whom you haven’t seen or spoken to in a long time.
Maybe if this was your reason for requesting a meeting, your sister might be more willing to concede.