When my marriage ended, I was humiliated. I was the laughingstock of my community because everyone had warned me about getting married to Henry.
They claimed he was a user and only wanted me for my money. However, I dismissed their claims because I thought that they were jealous that I had finally found happiness, especially since everything seemed to be working out.
My husband was the complete opposite of what they claimed he was. We built a beautiful home and lived the fairytale until one day, he left me for an older woman.
It was sudden. I didn’t see it coming since we were more than happy together. Henry had no reason to leave our marriage, especially for an older woman, which made the betrayal feel even worse. The most challenging part was how I would raise my children alone. They loved their father and I didn’t want them to think ill of him.
I was confused about what to do and what to tell our children. So, for the first few months, I lied to them that he had gone on a work trip.
“Mum, where’s dad?” They asked persistently.
“He has travelled. He’ll be back.” I would tell them.
I hoped that Henry would show up during that time so I didn’t have to explain to the children what was going on but he didn’t. It took months for me to even know where he was.
Apparently, he hadn’t moved very far. He was spotted close to my neighbourhood driving a new Range Rover in the company of a known sugar mummy.
I didn’t want to believe that my husband could stoop to that level so I continued denying that it was him until I saw him with my own eyes. Indeed, he was driving a Range Rover around the neighbourhood like he was a king. He looked so carefree and didn’t seem concerned about the family he had left behind. I hid behind a kiosk as he passed by so he wouldn’t spot me but I was tempted to cause a commotion.
I went home with my head down, trying to figure out how I would break the news to my children. It was close to a year and they weren’t buying the story that their father was on a trip.
“Where’s dad?” My youngest child asked.
I hesitated as I fought back tears.
“It’s okay, mum. We will understand.” My firstborn said which gave me the strength to tell them.
“Your father is living with another woman.”
“So, it’s true!” My son exclaimed.
“What do you mean?”
“One of my schoolmates told me that my father wasn’t on a trip. He was seen in a Range Rover with an older woman.”
I was shocked by how much my community gossiped about people’s lives. Nonetheless, I was relieved that my kids finally knew the truth. I could now live life without worrying that my kids would find out the truth.
Surprisingly, they were not as distressed as I expected. My youngest child was more upset since she was close with her father but after a few days, she realized that her life wasn’t any different with or without her father.
The other challenge was how I would be able to support my family financially. Though I had a good job, I was not capable of doing everything on my own, especially since my daughter was about to join school.
I suspected that was the reason Henry walked out on us. He never supported me financially since he said that I had money but I had been pressuring him to start contributing more financially since we were about to start paying school fees for two children.
He seemed cooperative at first and promised that he was working on a business deal that would make us rich.
“Don’t worry babe. You won’t have to work once this deal comes through.” He said.
Prior to walking out of our marriage, Henry had been going on trips more often than usual which made me believe that he was working on a business deal. Little did I know the deal was actually my husband sleeping with an older woman.
I didn’t have a choice but to be strong for my kids and life moved on as it always did. Actually, I was doing great. I got a promotion so I started earning twice my salary. I no longer worried about money and I could finally start enjoying life.
Out of nowhere, Henry showed up at my house. He looked weak and unkempt like he hadn’t been eating well. Obviously, I didn’t want to know what he was going through but he looked like he was on the verge of death so I took pity on him and allowed him in the house.
I served him some food and a glass of juice so he could replenish his energy. Once he was satisfied, he raised his head and smiled for the first time.
“Thank you, my wife.” He said.
“I’m not your wife.”
“I know I did you wrong but I have come to apologize.”
“Before you apologize, why do you look so dishevelled.”
“It’s a long story, but I need your forgiveness first.”
I’m not one to hold grudges so I forgave him. He asked if he could stay with me until he got back on his feet which I also agreed to.
“We are not getting back together though,” I warned him.
A week later, he still hadn’t told me what had happened and he kept dodging the question.
“You need to tell me what brought you here or you can’t stay in my house anymore.”
“I made a mistake.” He started. “I shouldn’t have followed that older woman but she enticed me with promises of a good life.”
“You had a good life here,” I interjected.
“I know and I shouldn’t have left. She did give me a lot of good things but for what good were those things when it came at the cost of my health.”
I was silent knowing what he was about to say next.
“I’m HIV positive.” He said then broke down in tears.
Though he looked sickly, I didn’t suspect that he was infected but luckily, we hadn’t been intimate since he came back to the house. I took him to hospital and he was put on medication.
However, I couldn’t live with him anymore. He went back to his parent’s home in the village where he had been living and thriving. He started a farming business and even got another family.
For me, I closed the dating chapter for good. I’m focused on raising my kids and enjoying my single life and since most women in my community are single mothers, I have been navigating my new life easily.