Query: My childhood friend recently moved near my place during lockdown. My happiness knew no bounds! Since her husband works overseas, she stays alone with her son. I started inviting her often over to my place and she bonded well with my husband too. It was all going great until I found a message from her in my husband’s phone which said, “Why don’t you come over today?” I was shocked and I haven’t questioned my husband or her over this. Please help me- how should I handle this situation?
Response by Rachana Awatramani: I can understand that you are shocked and your friend’s message in your husband’s phone has come as a surprise to you. I see that you were extremely happy and excited when your friend moved near your place. It is natural and you were being kind and supportive to her as her husband works overseas by inviting her to your place.
Friendship is a relationship in which you can trust and be yourself with the person. It is an emotional investment which is defined by two people. In your case, she is your childhood friend and I am sure you can openly speak to her. It could be a casual message as well, nevertheless this message has created a doubt in your mind and your relationship with your friend and husband is at stake.
You can speak with your husband first and understand the reason for her message and also speak to her openly. She being your old friend I am sure you have a space to speak openly with her.
It is always better to speak rationally and objectively to understand the situation rather than reacting as the message does not represent the reason behind it.