Dear Coleen,
I’ve been going out with someone for a couple of months. He’s always so well turned out – immaculate hair and clothes – so I was really shocked when he took me to his place. It looked like a hoarder was living there!
There are always piles of dirty dishes in the sink and his stuff covers every surface – there’s barely space to walk on the floor.
And the worst thing is, it doesn’t even look like he ever changes his bed sheets.
I really fancy him, but I’m not sure I can put up with this level of mess, dirt and chaos. But what can I do about it?
Coleen says,
You can tell him it’s not sexy! I realise you don’t want to offend him, but I think you can drop into the conversation that his place needs a good clean. Surely even he can see it’s a tip?
What you mustn’t do – even if you’re itching to do it – is tidy up for him. You’re not his mother.
And maybe if you impose a sex ban till he washes his sheets, he will suddenly become very good at laundry.
If the relationship develops and you’re talking about moving in together, make sure he knows he has to pull his weight around the house. If he doesn’t, I doubt things will last very long.