Question: Hi! I am a 28-year-old woman and I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for two years. Recently, something strange happened that has been disturbing me a lot. A few months back, one of my boyfriend’s clients expressed her love for him.
She used to call him regularly and even pursued him. Even my boyfriend got interested in her and they had a very casual relationship for a while (I got to know about this from my boyfriend later).
However, my boyfriend broke up with her and returned to me. Even after that, she used to call him shamelessly and one day I got so irritated that I picked up the call and told her very rudely not to call him for anything but only official matters. Now, she is a very important client for my boyfriend’s office.
And she seemed very offended by my response. After a few weeks, my boyfriend lost his job, in fact, he was forced to resign forcefully by his boss. What worries me now is that my boyfriend isn’t angry. He doesn’t talk about what happened or why it happened. He has neither shown any anger towards me.
He seems to have taken it on his stride. He isn’t even looking for any job. I feel guilty that he lost his job for me. Plus, his behaviour seems very fishy. I do not know what is going on in his mind or his life. And that is making me feel very disturbed and insecure. Please tell me what should I do —By Anonymous.
Response by Kamna Chhibber: This certainly is a very difficult situation for both of you given the impact it has had on your relationship and your partner’s job. However, before you decide to do anything or reach any conclusions it is important to give him time to determine what he is feeling and what he would like to do in this regard.
It certainly is not a good idea for him to not work but it is possible that he be attempting to determine how to go about the same given the current scenario. Nevertheless, if your gut is telling you something is not ok then you must trust yourself and figure what is going on. Have an open conversation, share your concerns and encourage him to share what he is going through. Assure him that even if you do not agree with him you would like to know and hear what he is going through and how he is planning for things ahead. If he is hesitant in speaking to you then encourage him to speak to someone he feels comfortable with so he can determine the way forward soon. Be supportive and stay relaxed even as he takes time to figure things.