When I proposed to her, she told me she broke up with her boyfriend not too long ago so I should give her some time to heal. I thought I could be part of her healing process by offering her another arm that could embrace her and another heart that could love her truly. She said, “I don’t know how the whole thing may end so kindly give me space to heal and to assess what went wrong with my ex. You are a kind man and I love that about you but please give me some space.”
I gave her the needed space. Three or four months later, she told me, “I’m ready. I’ve moved on completely and I think it’s time to give myself the permission to fall in love again. It’s you I choose.” Being the chosen one always comes with this kind of happiness and fulfillment. I felt like a boy in love and didn’t want to do anything to make her doubt my love for her.
Then one day she said her ex had started coming after her. I asked her, “For what?” She answered, “He wants me back and he seems desperate about it.” I asked, “So would you give him a chance?” She chuckled, “Me? give that boy another chance? You want me dead, right? Not even in my next life.“
One night I called so many times and she didn’t pick up. Later in the night, she called. I said, “I’ve been calling you several times.” She said, “He was here. He took my phone from me and said he wouldn’t allow me to talk to you.” I was so pissed I’d wanted to call and confront him but she calmed me down; “Trust me. I’m a big girl. I would handle him but when push comes to shove, I’ll let you know.”
On her birthday, I bought her a new iPhone. Three days later, the phone got missing. “I don’t know how it happened. It was in my bag when I was leaving the office. I got home only to realise it wasn’t in there.” She narrated all that while she was in tears. I told her, “Don’t worry. It’s just a phone. I would get you a new one.”
One afternoon she called and said, “Tim, please don’t be angry about what I’m going to say. My ex said he’s getting me a new phone. Should I accept it?” I screamed, “No, don’t! Why would he buy you a new phone? Who called him into this issue?” I kept ranting until she said, “Ok, don’t worry. I won’t take anything from him if you’re not comfortable.” I spoke from a place of jealousy and she got a hint of it. Two weeks later, I pulled some resources together and got her a new phone—iPhone 11 without the ‘pro.’
It got to a point I felt like I was in competition with the ex-boyfriend. I would see her on the phone chatting with an angry face. I would ask what was it and she would say, “Is it not my ex, I don’t know what he wants from me.” I would call her line as late as 10pm and it would be call waiting. An hour later she would call and tell me, “Tim, I don’t know what to do. I want to change my number. That guy is disturbing me. Why is he coming after me like that? Is that how you guys are? You don’t take a no for an answer?”
At some point, I decided to throw diplomacy in the bin and confront him. I wasn’t ready to sit unconcerned while another guy torments my girlfriend, especially when this guy was the ex. I sent him a message on Facebook. He was very welcoming and calm about the whole issue. I said, “Can we meet and talk about the whole thing?” He said, “Sure we can meet but I hope there’s no problem?” I said, “No, there’s no problem. Just a discussion.”
Three days later, we met at the Legon campus. We sat on one of the lover’s bench and began talking. I said, “It’s about Georgette. I hope you know I’m the guy she’s dating?” He asked, “You are dating her?” I said, “Yes, we’ve been dating for the last six months.” He said, “She told me that you’re chasing her but she hasn’t given you an answer.” I was shocked but I wasn’t there to listen to what she had told him so I told him, “I’m only here to ask you to do me a favor. We are trying to build a future together and I’m not comfortable with the way you’re pursuing her. She complains a lot. She cries about it. I made her block you and you used another line to get to her. I’m not comfortable with the way you visit her uninvited. She’s scared about it. In the end, I’m the one she comes crying to. That’s why I’m here talking to you man to man, as brothers.”
Guy got up from his seat and started laughing. “You mean she told you all that or you’re making things up? I wish I could get her on the phone to join this conversation.” That was when I spotted the phone he was using—iPhone 11 Pro in a black leather case. He continued, “Georgette knows I’m dating and she knows the girl I’m going out with. She has been the one pestering me to come back. I’ve never visited her house since we broke up but she had come to my place on several occasions, begging me to come back. You see this phone I’m using? She gave it to me, telling me it’s a sign that she still wants me in her life. I’ve never ever tried to get back at her. That girl has emotional issues I don’t want to be part of. If you doubt me, let’s call her.”
For a minute, I looked like a fool. It was like I’ve been dancing naked at the marketplace when the music had stopped playing long ago. “You mean she’s lying to me all this while? And you said she got you this phone you’re using?” He answered, “I won’t make anything up. If you are comfortable with it, let’s call her.” I told him, “I want to be there with her when I call you so I can understand what’s happening.”
That evening I went to her house and asked her only two questions; “What happened to the first iPhone I bought for you?” She said, “It got stolen.” I asked again, “When was the last time you went to your ex’s house?” She said, “I’ve never been to his house since I started dating you.” I called the ex and put it on a loudspeaker. I said, “Bro, Georgette is here. Can you tell me what you told me?” Immediately he started talking, she started leaving the room. I held her hand and asked her to stand there. She started screaming; “If you don’t leave my hand, I’ll scream rape. You think the two of you can connive and shame me? Are you two kids? You talked behind my back and you think I should stand here and listen to the two of you lie?”
All my life, I’ve never met a woman who could manipulate a man’s heart the way this girl did. She was trying to use me to get back to her ex and all the while making me believe her ex was the problem. She left the room for me and never picked my calls afterward. One morning, I went to her house unexpectedly, picked the phone I bought her, and before I would leave, I told her, “I’m giving you two days, if I don’t get the Pro back, count yourself dead.”
The next day, her ex called me; “Bro, you asked her to come for the phone?” I told him, “I asked her to get me my phone.” He said, “Can you give me one month to get a new phone so I give this one back to you?” I said, “That’s between you and her but I’ve given her two days to get my phone back to me.” The next day when I returned from work, a co-tenant said Georgette left something to be given to me. I opened it and there it was—the Pro. It felt like waking up in a burning house and all you could pick were two things. At least, all was not lost. I escaped the raging fire with the two most important things.
–Timothy