In the Broadway hit “Kiss Me Kate” Cole Porter wrote
“According to the Kinsey report
Ev’ry average man you know
Much prefers to play his favorite sport
When the temperature is low
But when the thermometer goes way up
And the weather is sizzling hot
Mister Adam for his madam is not
Cause it’s too too too darn hot”
The whole of the United States is currently experiencing an unusual heat wave. The area where I live, near Palm Springs, California, has been a rare 115 or more degrees for the past several weeks!
There are ways to keep intimacy intact during such miserable weather that does not involve, to put it bluntly, sweaty bodies sticking together. Let’s look at a few that will depend on availability and personal inclination.:
- If you’re lucky enough to have a swimming pool nearby, even an athletic club that has one, go. I find the best times are early morning or at the end of the day— if you have your choice. In these days of urban living there are very few old watering holes for skinny dipping, so use what you can.
- No nearby swimming pool available? A small investment in a plastic kiddie pool to wade and splash in might work. When the weather eventually comes to its senses, you can donate the pool to a neighborhood preschool.
- Follow a swim with a tepid shower or bath together. When no pool is available an indoor tub or shower almost always is.
- Visit a local park and lie down under the trees with a good book. Read to one another. (I suggest children’s books, comic poetry, or short stories.)
- Have a bedroom lie-down together with a wet washcloth on forehead and/or belly. While you might be in bed together, remember no hanky panky. These suggestions are activities instead of.
- Go to an air-conditioned movie and hold hands. Best choice is a comedy or rom-com.
- Visit a cool and educational place like an aquarium or museum, if your city is lucky enough to have one.
- Have cool drinks on your own or a restaurant’s patio. Talk to one another, preferably about intimate matters.
- Take a bus ride, on any bus, as long as it is air-conditioned and on a route with which you are unfamiliar. If your city is lucky enough to have one, take a guided tour.
- If all else is unavailable, take a cup and a bowl of water each and have a water fight while appropriately dressed—or un.
The point of all the shenanigans is to have fun with your sweetie while it’s too hot to have many of the other kinds. Spend time together in unusual ways. Laugh together. Learn something new about one another and look forward to the eventual arrival of fall.