Love in the time of Corona: Can spending too much time together strain your relationship?

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Relationships can struggle at the best of times and when they are subjected to unnatural, difficult circumstances making them blossom and grow can be an especially difficult task. The threat of the Corona pandemic have brought people closer to their families and loved ones. And then there are those who find this to be a bit too close. It can feel like someone is breathing down your neck all the time and there is no privacy and space to just be or do things on your own.

It forces me to draw parallels with how research in social and behavioural psychology has consistently shown that putting people together for long periods of time in the same space or creating conditions of over-crowding can lead to the precipitation of irritability and even conflicts between them. So it is possible that being so close for long may cause some cracks to appear within your relationships as well. Guarding against this is important and here are some ways in which you can maintain that healthy balance:

There must be time for ‘me time’
Just because you’re at home together does not mean all the time needs to be spent together with each other. You would need to maintain some time for yourself to do something or do nothing at all and be on your own to be able to maintain your own sense of balance. Connecting and staying connected with another involves immense emotional exchange as well and you would need some time to recharge your batteries for it. You cannot be a giver in a relationship without taking care of yourself as well.

Consciously carve out time for doing things together as well
A source of conflict can arise from the amount of time you may have to spend with multiple chores relating to work and home. This compounded situation could also leave much lesser time for you and your partner and so it would be important to make a proactive effort to determine specific times when both of you can take breaks together during the day or before or after your respective work days have ended.

Be willing to give the benefit of doubt
The manner in which you feel stretched and strained is exactly what those around you would be feeling as well. They too may snap on inconsequential things and it would be important to not personalize it and give the other the benefit of doubt and put it down to the current prevailing circumstances. Do find time and space to talk about it later after the moment has passed, particularly if you see the pattern being repeated so they can determine a way to alter their response.

Differences to not indicate distances
Be aware of how your mind does process conflicts and differences that arise during this period. It is important to not draw conclusions that make you believe that the differences are reflective of larger distances in your relationships and that there is something fundamentally wrong with them.

Consider using this time to resolving the larger issues
This time is also an opportunity to have those conversations that have been swept under the carpet for long. You can choose to address the elephant(s) in the room and be assured that no one is going anywhere without working through what has been going on. Of course you need to be cautious when embarking on this journey as things can just as easily fall apart. So if you aren’t very sure about picking up these conversations on your own, then make a resolve to do so once this passes.

And finally, remember this too shall pass and when it does your relationship will certainly be transformed and if you can keep in mind the above suggested aspects it would have transformed into a stronger, more resilient bond.