Dear Coleen
I’m a woman aged 27 and I’ve fancied this guy who works in my local for a really long time.
He’s handsome, always friendly and polite, but I’ve never made a move because I was always in a relationship.
However, my last relationship ended, so I finally asked this guy out on a date (after a couple of drinks for Dutch courage) and he said yes.
We’ve met a few times since and I don’t seem to be getting anywhere with him. He’s actually a bit shy and not very exciting, even though he’s hot as hell.
We’ve only made it to the bedroom once and there wasn’t a lot of sexual chemistry, even though I had a nice time.
Should I carry on hoping things will improve, or call it a day?
Coleen says
Well, he’s possibly not right for you long term, but it doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy this relationship while it lasts, as long as you’re honest with yourself and with him about what you want from it.
Equally, you’ve only had a few dates, so you could give it a bit more time. If he’s shy and you’re not (you made the first move and asked him out), then he might feel a bit intimidated by your confidence or he might just really like you so he’s a bit self-conscious because he doesn’t want to blow it.
Also, if you want to make things more exciting and fun, then why not take the lead and see how he reacts? You might bring him out of his shell.