Dear Coleen,
I’m a woman in my 30s, married with one child.
Recently, I started chatting to and messaging a guy I went to school with after he found me on Instagram.
I’d always quite fancied him, but we never dated.
Anyway, I’m not quite sure how it happened, but our flirty banter turned into phone sex and now I’m feeling really guilty.
We’ve never actually met up and done anything in person, but is this cheating?
My husband has no idea I’ve been chatting to this guy and I’m terrified of him finding out. Where do I go from here?
Coleen says
Yes, of course, it’s cheating.
You’ve formed an attachment to another man and you’re having phone sex with him.
Either finish it and block him and start working harder on your marriage, which might be lacking in excitement, or take a hard look at whether you should be in your marriage at all.
Look, we’re all human, we’re all attracted to things that are naughty, and the things we can’t have always seem more attractive, but it’s a choice whether or not to act on these impulses.
You can carry on, but you need to weigh up what you’ve got to lose because it might end your marriage.
You could hook up with this guy and end up thinking: “What the hell have I done?”