Consistent sex is probably one of the top three greatest benefits that come from being a committed relationship. While the idea itself is good on its own, what makes it so great is the person you get to have it with.
Which is why us, ladies, need to make sure we’re not just giving it away to anyone. He’s gotta be pretty great.
Logically, we know this. Our moms and guidance counselors have been preaching it for decades. But we seem to forget this golden rule when we start letting the guys make the decisions.
When he seems to be really into you, you let your guard down. You embrace the possibility and the excitement and keep the ball in his court.
Because even though deep down a lot of guys want relationships, they’ll pretty much always put that dream on the back-burner in exchange for sex. And once they realize they can get away with sex without any of the responsibility of being in a relationship, they stop trying to be in one.
Most guys won’t do any work if there is no work required. (That goes for people in general.) If we don’t have to earn it — and it’s just freely given to us — why would we make much of an effort to get it?
The only real way to see if a guy is relationship material and if he wants to be serious is to draw the line. He doesn’t get to do things a boyfriend does if he isn’t your boyfriend.
You don’t have to tell him this directly. Just don’t have sex with him. Don’t invite him to your place alone or see you in your underwear. Don’t get too intimate until he tells you that he just wants to be with you, instead of finding out later he doesn’t want a relationship.
Because there’s no point in wasting your time trying to force a man you’ve already had sex with into a monogamous relationship. It just isn’t going to happen.
You have a lot more power and say in a relationship than you realize. So make sure what you’re doing is in line with what you really want.