A woman has been branded as “heartless” after trying to ban her husband from attending his ex-wife’s funeral simply because she “couldn’t stand her”. Her dilemma has recently been discussed on the Two Hot Takes podcast, hosted by Morgan Absher, after originally being shared on Reddit.
In her post, she explained how her husband’s ex-wife died from an aneurysm, a bulge in a blood vessel caused by a weakness in the blood vessel wall, in her early 40s. But rather than grieve the woman’s death, she tried to prevent her husband from attending her funeral to mourn the loss of his first love. She said: “They were friends in college, decided to date, got married, then realised they weren’t a great couple and decided to just be friends.”
The woman, who has now been with her husband for 10 years, says “all that happened years before I met him but he was clear early on that she was ‘important’.”
“I expressed some discomfort at him being so close to an ex,” she added.
“He told me, ‘If you have a serious issue with it, let me know now and save us some time. I’ll choose her. I like you and all, but I’ve known her for over 12 years and she’s one of the most important people in my life. You’ll have to be OK with that if you want us to be a thing’.
“When we were engaged I asked again. He gave me this perplexed look and asked, ‘Why would us getting married affect my friendships?’
“I sucked it up and went along. I resented every moment of knowing her, especially when we had to be social.
“She understood some part of him I couldn’t. Her husband was friends with mine as well, so it’s not like I could use him as an angle.”
The woman went on to explain how her husband would meet up with his ex-wife to watch “geeky movies” – and would always have an answer prepared for when she complained about them spending too much time together.
She added: “The few times I brought it up he said, ‘We had this conversation before. You had your chance to back out’.”
But after meeting up with her for lunch one day, the ex-wife died from an aneurysm when walking back to her car.
Her husband spent days crying over her death and has been struggling through the grieving process, as the loss is so great for him – something his wife doesn’t understand.
“He spent a bunch of time crying, but honestly I was relieved,” she said.
“He was working with her husband on funeral planning. I told him, ‘You don’t think you’re going, do you?’
“My argument, summed up: She’s dead, so she’s not a factor anymore. He doesn’t get to use his ‘she’s my friend’ excuse since she doesn’t exist anymore.
“He had his cry for a couple days, he gets to be done with mourning her already. There’s no need for him to go to her funeral, since I wouldn’t want her at his.
“He was the angriest I’ve ever seen him when I told him that, replying that he’ll be going no matter how I feel, and that he’s ‘willing to burn this to the ground’ while holding up his wedding band.
“[He said] ‘Besides you, she was the closest friend in my life’.”
Disgusted by her reaction towards the ex-wife’s death, her husband, her sisters and the woman’s husband all branded her as “heartless” and a “ghoul” for being so cruel.
She added: “They are calling me an insensitive a***hole over this, all saying that there was no romantic aspect to their relationship, and that I’m heartless.
“Her husband went so far as calling me a ‘ghoul’ for how I’ve reacted.
“I never felt their relationship was appropriate, and I hid that for years because I wanted to be with my husband. Now that she’s gone, I don’t feel I should have to hide it anymore, and can speak freely.”
After discussing the woman’s admission on the Two Hot Takes podcast, Morgan and her co-host agreed that the husband is well within his rights to walk away from his marriage, saying: “Leave her immediately. ‘I’ve never felt quicker about that. Leave her, that is so f***ed up”
And they weren’t the only ones who shared this opinion as other Reddit users shamed her for trying to ban him from attending his ex-wife’s funeral.
One user said: “If it bothered her so much she should not have married him. He was upfront about it.
“If she had any class, she could have just not said anything, gave her condolences, and be done with it. But she had to show off her ghoul face to everyone in mourning.
“What kind of monster is ‘relieved’ that her husband’s friend died. Way to show your true colours, somewhere in the middle of snot green and pure black.”
Another user added: “When he divorces you, he probably won’t have to explain his friendship with you to the next woman because, seriously, who’d want to stay friends with a woman who had treated you like this?
A third user said: “That’s the thing though, even if she ‘doesn’t exist’ that doesn’t mean there will be nothing else to worry about. Every anniversary of the death, every birthday of hers that she’s no longer here for.