‘I cheat on my wife when she’s looking after our kids – and don’t feel guilty’

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Alex admits that the beginning of his infidelity was a bit of a cliché.

He had sex with an older woman who was a director at his company after they got flirty at the work’s Christmas party.

At first he felt really guilty for cheating on his wife of five years, who was at home with their two young children, but says after a while he didn’t really think about it.

The first affair ended after six months, but he missed the thrill so went searching for other woman to cheat with – and ended up using the dating website for married people, Ashley Madison.

Now, the 35-year-old claims that having sex with other women makes him a better husband.

He tells The Mirror: “Earlier on the guilt was much stronger but over time I’ve learnt to compartmentalise it a lot more.

“It’s not something I think about in the same way now.

“It used to be a real looking down from a tightrope thing – I thought if something happened everything would collapse.

“If I think about it too much it’s still there but that same level of guilt isn’t there.

“Our marriage benefits from it – I’m not as frustrated. It means I’m not nagging her.

“There is lots of stuff I still talk about and see if we can explore to match our desires up.”

His infidelity began when he had an affair with a work colleague which lasted about six months.

He loved the buzz and excitement, so once it came to an end he began to look elsewhere.

“She was a little bit older and a director at my company. It sounds cliché but it was at the office party.

“We were chatting and before I knew it she was coming onto me a bit. One thing led to another.

“I felt guilty about what I had done, but I was also really turned on by it. I had always had a desire to be with an older woman.

“It was great because we were both quite frustrated with our partners, it was a great way of excising that and exploring our fantasies.”

When things came to an end he didn’t plan to cheat again, however, he said he “got the itch” so started looking on affair websites, which is when he came across Ashley Madison in 2017.

He said: “I did feel really bad about it but it was really great and really liberating.

“[My wife] never found anything. We’ve never had any awkward moments.

“I have always been very careful about what I’m doing. I don’t keep anything on my phone.”

Since joining the website he’s had a few hookups and three longer term affairs.

“I know it’s not an acceptable way to behave or the right thing to do,” Alex says.

“I don’t think you can morally justify it in any way. But I’m having great fun and it benefits my marriage.

“I’ve had some great times and some great sex.

“I feel like I’m living life to the fullest.”

Alex admits it would be better if he was open with his wife about the affairs, but says he doesn’t think she would understand.

He previously told her he would like it if she slept with other men, and she was horrified at the idea.