Dear Coleen
Our 22-year-old son and his girlfriend have been living with us since the start of the lockdown. Before she came to stay, I didn’t know her very well. She’s from Spain, so I’d only met her a couple of times. Still, I was very happy to welcome her into our home.
However, as the weeks went by, I began to like her less and less, which I feel bad about as my son is crazy about her.
I can see why – she’s very beautiful and sexy. But I don’t think she treats him very well.
He runs around after her, doing everything she asks. Also, she never lifts a finger to help around the house, which annoys me.
There’s another, more awkward problem – she walks around half-naked a lot of the time and I can also hear her having sex.
I’ve never heard my son, thank God. I don’t know whether she does these things to wind me up or whether that’s just part of her personality.
But I have a younger son of 14 and a husband to consider.
What should I do? It’s a delicate situation because I don’t want to upset my son, who’s smitten with her.
Coleen says
This situation wouldn’t have been so intense if it hadn’t been for lockdown. I was locked down with my three kids, as well as my son’s girlfriend and my daughter’s boyfriend and, although it went very smoothly, it was still difficult at times being with each other 24/7.
OK, so as far as helping around the house goes, why not just ask her to muck in with certain things?
She doesn’t sound like the shy, retiring type, but she still might be feeling a bit awkward living with her son’s parents.
My daughter wrote a chores’ list every day for us, which really worked. Now the boys are all terrified of her, which is funny, but everyone knows what they have to do.
As far as the revealing outfits go – if you mean shorts and a vest top when it’s hot, then I don’t consider that half-naked, but I guess it depends on how prudish you’re being about that! If it’s topless with knickers, then it’s a different story.
We Brits are quite reserved, so maybe she’s just more relaxed and comfortable in her own skin. Maybe you just need to make a joke, as in: “Where’s the rest of your outfit?”
The problem is, if you don’t start addressing situations while she’s living with you, they’ll just get bigger until you reach boiling point and it disintegrates into a row.
Also, maybe think about your attitude and if you’re being fair – are you even a little put out that this sexy temptress has got hold of your firstborn?
As for the loud sex, just have a quiet word with your son and let him know that you can hear their bedtime shenanigans. I’m sure they’ll be more discreet.
Finally, spare a thought for your son’s girlfriend being separated from her family. I don’t think I’ve given my son Shane’s girlfriend Maddie enough credit for this – I forget sometimes that she misses her mum and her family in Kent.
Your son’s girlfriend must have loved him enough to give that up and be with him during lockdown.