Dear Aunty Abena,
I hope my email finds you well. I’m a very confused young man, and if you don’t help me, I don’t know what I’ll do.
I met a lady one day, and in fact, she was my spec. I approached and told her everything about myself and that I wanted her to be my girlfriend, but she told me we should start off as friends because she’s had so many guys proposing to her that she needs time to see if I’m the one. I didn’t relent and accepted the challenge.
I bought lunch to be delivered to her, perfumes, clothing, and every shopping she requested, but she was still refusing to give me a positive response. I begged her to show me some consideration and asked to meet her family members in case she wasn’t sure about me.
She took me to meet her mother, and it’s there I saw a different side to her that I didn’t know. Aunty Abena, could you believe that this lady watched as her mother served me, swept the porch, and mopped some spilled juice? My prompts for her to help her mother yielded no results.
Her mother is a single mum, very humble, respectful, and hardworking. I just liked her at first sight. When we were leaving, I don’t know what came over me, but I hugged her. Since then, this woman has been in my thoughts, and I’ve developed some kind of love that I can’t explain. I know it’s wrong, but I can’t shake it off.
I stopped calling her daughter, which became another issue because I finally had to respond and tell her I’m no longer interested. She seems to have fallen for me because she says she was only stretching me to see how serious I was and wants me to tell her the truth. I told her I’d found someone, and she did her own digging. Because she didn’t find anything, she’s always at my house, workplace, and practically stalking me on social media.
Right now, I don’t know what to do. I’m very much confused because I have been talking to her mother daily and I feel that the love is becoming more. The lady is happy that at least I’m still talking to her mother but she doesn’t know my real reason. Is it a good idea to tell her? Please help.
ADVICE FROM AUNTY ABENA
Dear Anonymous,
It’s essential to navigate through this situation with honesty and sensitivity. First, have a candid conversation with the lady you initially pursued, expressing your feelings openly. Make it clear that your romantic interests have changed and you wish to move on. Kindly but firmly set boundaries to ensure she understands the shift in your relationship.
Concerning her mother, maintain your respect and politeness but consider maintaining a distance from her in order to avoid any complications. Seek support from friends or a trusted confidant to help you cope with the emotional challenges of this situation.
Remember, clear communication and empathy are crucial to handling such delicate matters.
Yemuadie and friends Ltd – Occasional Kwatriot Kwesi Yankah writes
I didn’t slap Annoh-Dompreh; I only made gesticulations towards him – KT Hammond