Instead of being thankful that his wife went out of her way to bring him a meal he liked while he was at work, a 33-year-old man admitted that he “blew up” at her for bringing him lunch.
He claimed that, despite the kind intentions behind his wife’s gesture, he felt self-conscious about his co-workers’ reaction.
He accused her of embarrassing him by bringing his favorite lunch to work.
In his Reddit post, the man explained that he was recently hired at a large company after moving with his wife a few months prior. His wife, of course, was excited about this new work opportunity and talked to him about potentially preparing a surprise to celebrate, which he was looking forward to.
However, his happiness quickly faded once he realized what his wife’s surprise was.
“She showed up at my workplace two days ago with a meal she said she prepared specifically for me since it’s my favorite. Apparently, this was her surprise,” he wrote. “I was [a] little upset she brought it to my workplace.”
He claimed that his angry reaction had more to do with what his co-workers said about it than the fact that his wife had made him lunch.
His co-workers, who he described as being “vicious” and “brutally honest” people, began teasing him about the meal that his wife brought.
One of them, named Austin, even made a “joke” that his “mommy,” referring to his wife, was incredibly supportive for bringing him lunch to his workplace. He clearly felt embarrassed that his co-workers were making these jabs and were laughing at him, and unfortunately, they continued into the next day.
“I went to work the next day, and Austin kept making jokes about me, saying, ‘Is mommy going to bring lunch today as well?’ And, ‘When is mommy coming to change your diaper?'” he continued.
Feeling incredibly awful about all of the comments, he went home and confronted his wife, accusing her of embarrassing him and ruining the respect and prestige that he had with his co-workers.
She argued that she was simply trying to do something nice for him by making and bringing him lunch.
His wife is right. All she wanted was to surprise him and congratulate him on receiving a great opportunity. It’s not her fault that his co-workers chose to bully and tease him about it. Instead of taking his anger out on his wife and blaming her, he should’ve taken up the issue with his co-workers.
PsychCentral noted that this type of behavior is known as displaced anger. Simply put, the aggression that should be directed elsewhere or diffused is pushed onto someone else. “It’s not fun to be the recipient of someone’s anger, especially when it’s not even your fault,” Dr. Michael Kane, a board-certified psychiatrist and Medical Director at the Indiana Center for Recovery, explained to the outlet. “Displaced anger can cause tension, arguments, and hurt feelings in any type of relationship — romantic, platonic, or familial.”
“The argument escalated after I suggested that she could’ve waited till I got home to surprise me with this meal instead of showing up while I was working, which made me seem unprofessional,” he added. “She said she came during lunch break, but I was still working during lunch break.”
His wife pointed out that it seemed as if it was easier for him to place the blame on her instead of standing up for himself — a sentiment echoed by almost every commenter. But if that’s not an option, in an effort to keep peace in his workplace, he needs to find an outlet for his frustrations that doesn’t involve blaming others. VeryWellMind suggests exercise or even breathing exercises to diffuse the displaced emotions.
He reiterated that she should’ve “consulted” him before showing up to his job, and was angered even more when his wife stood firm and insisted that it wasn’t her behavior that caused the issue at work, but the behavior of his co-workers.
Instead of expressing gratitude that his wife took the time out of her day to do something memorable and loving for him, he turned it around on her, which isn’t fair in the slightest.