Healthy relationships can be incredibly hard to find, form, navigate and maintain. But there are a few ways to know if the new person you’re dating is legit, or not so much. AskWomen Reddit users were asked what the early signs are that someone’s “a keeper”, and here’s what they said.
They’re self-confident
“Self-confidence is very important to me. If they know their strengths and weaknesses and isn’t afraid to admit mistakes, it’s always a good sign.”
They show genuine interest
“It’s obviously not everything, but when they show really genuine interest in who I am, where I’ve been, what I think. I’m very interested in learning about the people in my life, and if they show that same interest in me, it’s an early sign that there could be a compatibility there worth exploring.”
They try to see your point of view
“They try to see things from your perspective. My dinner date said, “No wait. Give me a minute, I need to find a different way to explain myself so you’ll get it.” He didn’t say that I wasn’t listening, or dismiss me for not getting it… Like so many had before him. That date was almost 20 years ago, and I married him soon after. Still going strong.”
They don’t need to be looked after
“They show signs of being able to take care of themselves. Like their apartment isn’t a disaster (a bit of clutter is fine, but a carpet layer of dust on things, or mould all over the place is a different story). If they can cook for themselves, that’s awesome. When I was dating, I was looking to become someone’s partner, not their replacement mum.”
They’re not afraid to be vulnerable
“Not being worried about how people perceive them, especially in terms of emotion. The guy I am currently interested in just radiates love for his friends and family. He often tells his friends he loves or misses them, and when he needs time to cry, it isn’t some huge deal.”
They want to spend meaningful time together
“They are not afraid to take it slow, while also being able to be vulnerable and gallant. The time we spend together feels meaningful, while not sexual. I feel liked for being me, and confident the sex will come when we take the next step. It feels like we’re building a durable relationship.”
“Constant communication, attention, and effort. When they ask how my day is, and is genuinely interested in hearing about the outfit I saw a woman wearing that I just couldn’t stop fawning over, and they smile and are happy with me as a result.”
They care about your happiness
“Treats you and your family right, and will go out of their way to make you happy.”