“MOMMY! How are babies made?” said a child angelically staring at the mothers or fathers. That question is a rite of passage to many. Parents dread the moment their kids start approaching them with difficult questions. Before the approach, kids’ brilliant, creative and out of the box minds start wandering and coming up with conclusions that make sense with the information they have.
The outcome is hilarious, so we asked the Fustany Team, our family members, and friends about their thoughts when they were young on relationships, sex and pregnancy and here’s what they had to say. Prepare yourself…
“Well, I thought relationships were as easy as ‘hey I love you’ and ‘you love me’ let’s get together… BOY was I wrong!”
“I thought women poop their babies!”
“That any marriage starts with the first fart in front of your partner, I still believe that!”
“If the sperm touched any area of the skin, women would automatically get pregnant.”
“I thought when a husband and wife hugged intimately… that was sex.”
“I believed that the romantic ‘bump into a guy on the street and fall in love’ was actually a thing…”
“I thought when a women and a man sleep next to each other, they’d automatically get pregnant”
“My sister thought children were planted into existence, like plants!”
“I thought babies were made when God finished putting together the puzzle that showed what the baby would look like.”
“I thought kissing was comprised of just two people touching their lips together without moving, which confused me as to how this was supposed to be something pleasurable. Until I watched the scene in ‘Rain Man’ when Raymond was taught how to kiss… and I started to understand.”
“I thought if you pee in a public bathroom after a male, there might be sperm on the seat and I might catch it and get pregnant.”
“Very old movies made me think that women could get pregnant from just a kiss. They never did anything else! It was kiss, cut scene, pregnant.”
“I never knew the man has a role in the baby making process. To me, the woman was the sole participant in getting pregnant and the baby is associated with the man because he’s the husband.”
“I didn’t know that sacrifices are part of the equation of making a relationship work, I thought it was just about finding the perfect man.”
“I thought sex was only a man and a women kissing and rolling around in bed… I think I was close.”
“I thought everyone in the world must get married, like it’s a passageway for every human being, not an option.”
“One time my brother put an egg underneath my 3-year-old sister and convinced her it was her’s and she thought she could lay eggs!”
“I thought that you can’t be in a relationship with someone a year older than you. My crush was older than me and we used to eye each other and I was dramatically upset with the forbidden love situation.”
“I thought women gave birth by coughing really hard and I used to panic whenever my mother coughed hard, thinking she would give birth.”
“I used to panic about what happens if you want to pee during sex, the area is occupied! What if something slips?”
“I have a friend that cried every time she got her period, feeling guilty that this was supposed to be a baby and now it’s dead! Tragic.”
“Egyptian movies with plots about unregistered marriage, always had the women pregnant and showing her signed marriage agreement papers to her parents. I thought signing the paper, made you pregnant, and if she didn’t want a baby then why did she sign it!”