You are at a friend’s wedding. You suddenly notice the most beautiful girl you’ve ever laid eyes on. She notices you too. You move closer with a drink in your hand. She tosses her hair and crosses her legs. Is there a chance she’s sending you a sign?
For most individuals, 70 per cent of communication is non-verbal. Especially women mostly lend out most of their emotional cues through her body language and if you can read these signs, there’s a high chance you can save yourself from potential embarrassment and ego devastation if you simply decode her body language.
“The biggest issue most guys have about asking a woman for a date is about their own self-confidence; their fear of being rejected. The moment a woman turns down a man, his male ego is ruined to pieces. Though most men love to believe that women are confusing while revealing their love interest, the fact remains that women are experts at giving subtle indications. So, the onus of cracking these indications lie on the men,” explains relationship expert Rajvardhan Vats.
Here are some sure shot ways to figure out whether your lady is waiting for you to ask her out…
Does she keep bumping into you?
“Raima and I were in the same office. She used to put in a lot of effort so that I noticed her sometimes on the way to the restroom or in the corridors. She deliberately used to pass by where I was seated, though the restrooms were nowhere near me. Somehow, our timings matched so much that I use to find her in the canteen, at the coffee machine, in the parking lot; needless to say this was all planned by her. This was a very clear and open invite, I finally mustered up the courage to ask her out for a dinner date one day and her eagerness shocked me,” chuckles Manish Sharma married to Raima since the past two years.
Hot Tip: If you suddenly start finding your girl just about everywhere, chances are that she is thinking ahead to make sure she runs into you. It’s only a matter of time before your eyes meet. What she’s doing is trying hard to make you observe her and give you a chance to make that vital first move. However, the trouble with this ‘she-approach’ is that men are sometimes ignorant about what’s going on in a woman’s mind space and as a result, they let pass a lot of chance. So, the next time a woman starts appearing frequently in your way, be observant, for she is most likely doing it on purpose.
She makes all the right moves
Believe it or not, but non-verbal flirting gestures flow freely when a woman is interested in a man. Such signals may range from her pointing in your direction with her foot or shoulders, tossing her hair to mirroring your body movements.
Hot Tip: Communication specialist Heer Wadhera explains, “If a female licks her lips while talking to you, she is sending out a clear signal that she is actually looking forward to something more than just talking to you. Similarly, if your girl plays with her jewellery, strokes her glass or freezes her eyes on you while talking, she is anticipating a date invite.”
Adds Vinay Sood, a creative manager at an advertising agency, “Observe the way she looks at you. If she looks at you when you are not looking at her and turns her gaze away when you make eye contact, she is very much interested in you. A warm smile is also a sure shot open invitation and an indication that she is open to cultivating a deep friendship with you.” If you become conscious of such signals, you can be sure whether or not your love interest is ready for your proposal.
She is always available! If a woman is interested in you, she will never make excuses like, “I have plans for tonight” or “Let me check at home if I can spare some time with you”. “Treat this as the fundamental rule in the game of dating. If a woman is interested in going out with you, she will make herself available. I used this trick on my current girlfriend. Initially I wasn’t too certain about her feelings, but when she didn’t turn me down even once in a year of asking her out, I became confident that she too was yearning to spend time with me,” shares Vaibhav Nagar, a 29-year-old automobile engineer.
Hot Tip: “If your girl forgets her mobile at home and makes sure that she gives you an alternate contact number, it is a direct signal that she is looking forward to spending some time with you and is very much interested in taking things forward,” suggests Rajvardhan.
She wants to know all about you
Does she quiz you about your job, where you live and what car you drive, all within the confines of a natural conversation? These are clear signs that she has you on her radar and is ready for you to initiate a date. A woman who’s interested in you wants to know everything about you. All the questions she may try to shoot you down with may appear as casual questions, but she will be making mental notes of all that you say to analyse them later.
Kapil Aghi, a 32-year-old software professional, shares, “I met Anchal (now my wife) at a friend’s place. She used to quiz me about my hobbies, family, background, education, choice in clothes, movies etc. I guess it was all about impressing me by telling me she had similar interests. I always used to wonder why she was showing such a keen interest in the minutest things, like whether I liked painting more or sketching. But I am glad she did all this, as today we are happily married since the last three years.”
Hot Tip: “If a woman is asking you about specific activities, she is giving subtle indications to meet up on another occasion. Or maybe she is just trying to hint to you that she too is interested in certain common activities and wants you to ask about them. Do not miss out on such rare opportunities and ask her to join you when you take up a common interest the next time,” advises Vinay Sood.
She plays the jealousy game If you notice her fuming just because you’re joking around with other women, it’s clear that she wants you to be more than just her friend. She may also attempt to makes you go green-eyed by mentioning other guys infront of you. Just like with the last sign, this too is a dead giveaway that she wants you. If she didn’t, then she wouldn’t be going through the trouble to get a reaction out of you.
Nitin Arya, a 27-year-old doctor, relates, “I have this fellow doctor whose mood changes as soon as she spots me talking to any of the female staff. She will make an excuse and call me immediately for some fake urgent work or get really upset. I know that she feels for me and am planning to propose her soon.”
Hot Tip: However, branding the green-eyed monster as the most unsafe bet, Dr. Brinda Kamal, a psychiatrist, warns, “Do not deliberately try to make a woman jealous. If she is making you jealous, don’t take any hasty decisions, don’t fall into a trap, and above all, don’t attempt to get even with her. Instead, keep your cool about the situation.”
Extra attention, extra care
Watch her reaction when you spill a drink, drop some curry, fumble with your bread or simply stumble down the stairs. If she turns away, embarrassed, or does nothing at all, she has no connection to you, but if she runs to you to lend a helping hand there could be chemistry. Letting her help will strengthen the feelings of attachment.
Hot Tip: “If a woman is interested in you she will be very much concerned about your well-being. But there’s a fine line between concern and a downright desire to have you as an integral part of her daily life. You need to pick up hints from her behaviour. For instance, if she calls you four times in a day to see how you are doing after a negligible accident, ensures your comfort and takes care of your food in a social gathering or runs to you with tissues if you spill even a bit of water, she is head over heels in love with you,” claims Piya Jain, a relationship expert.
She laughs at the silliest of your jokes
The fact is that whether or not she laughs at your jokes doesn’t necessarily have to do with whether or not she finds them funny. Laughing is a form of flirting, and if she is doing so, you can be pretty sure her mind is on you.
Hot Tip: “I used to like this girl in college, but I was really scared of asking her out. One day, a friend of mine asked me if she laughs at my silly jokes or not and then I realised that she was always stone-faced when I cracked jokes. It was evident enough that she didn’t find my sense of humour engaging and she didn’t like me enough to bother to pretend otherwise. I dropped the idea of proposing to her instantly post this realisation,” shares a disappointed Hitankar Jain, a 21-year-old engineering student.
Watch out for the physical quotient!
Women don’t easily talk about sex. Keep in mind that if she initiates the topic of sex than it obviously means that she is ready for action and is awaiting the first move from your end. If she often discusses sexual topics with you, she is trying to take the conversation towards a verbal foreplay. However, women are usually not very forthright about physical desires. Remember, that subtlety is the key and a careless slip of tongue can reverse the favourable tide.
“Sensuous signals given by women are pretty complex. Most of the times their frame of mind is that they want to give you the clue that they are sexually interested in you, but in a very undercover kind of way. Be cautious as any desperate move from your end can ruin your chances. Don’t talk dirty or ask her crudely to accompany you to bed; ask her out for a date, judge her intentions and then proceed,” suggests Rajvardhan.
Hot Tip: Heer Wadhera helps decode some more signals, “A woman touching you while talking is another indication of her interest in you. This can be a simple touch on the hand or on your knee. Another signal is if she portrays the same body language as you. If you are talking with your hands resting over the table, she is also doing the same. This often does not happen consciously. Nevertheless, it shows that she is matching your frequency.”