Our life events, as per societal expectations, are arranged like a serpentine stack of dominos. Put in perfect order one after the other, those life events are expected to happen at a certain age and any deviation from the planned path is often questioned.
No wonder, your childhood and teens are for academics, the early twenties are for finding a livelihood and mid-twenties till early thirties are reserved for marriage; then comes children, buying a house, promotion and whatnot. When a person attains a certain marriageable age, he or she is coaxed, threatened and bribed by all, including friends and family to get married. Some succumb to the pressure, a few brave ones revolt, who are then viewed by the majority as a ‘rebel without a cause’. Although the society, parents, relatives and the concerned few have their set ideas about the perfect age to tie the knot, let’s not fall for that. Here’s what five Indian men and women have to say.
02/6There is no perfect age until the person is mentally prepared
“There’s no best age to get married. Men or women alike. Unless the person is ready. It can be the early 20s or late 30s. If the person has established oneself and feels like one should share the life with another individual, one should go for it. In India, getting married at a certain age is nothing but societal pressure, and that’s why this question about age pops up more often. But, ideally, it should be the maturity or the readiness of the individual that matters the most. Maturity and age don’t really co-relate,” shared Soma Bhattacharjee, Advertising professional, Bangalore.
03/6When a person is ready to take the responsibilities
“With marriage comes a lot of responsibilities and you are ready for marriage only when you are prepared for all these. And it does not matter if you are in your 20s or your 40s, you are at a perfect age and are ready for marriage only when you think you are capable of shouldering the responsibilities,” said Avijit Madhav, a senior automobile expert.
04/6When he or she is financially stable
“Not many people, especially women, consider the importance of financial stability before getting married. But I learned it the hard way. I got married at the age of 25 to a man chosen by my parents. He was a teacher in a school but he lost his job just two months after our marriage. I was totally dependant on him since I wasn’t working. There were months when we had no money to pay the rent. Even after he got a new job and I too started a home food delivery business, it took us years to be financially stable. We started our family late because we had no money. So, I would always advise young people to be financially stable before starting their conjugal life,” shared Ameena S., a home chef from New Delhi.
05/6Girls should get married before they turn 30
“I am ready to face the risk of criticism when I say that girls should get married before they turn 30. The main reason being their ticking biological clock. Yes, I know that now we can freeze our eggs, there is the option of IVF and surrogacy too, but let me ask this–how many of us can afford such options? In case a person wants to have a child, which is totally his personal choice, he or she should know that maternity risks increases once a woman turns 35. A lot of people may disagree with this. But I tried for a child at 36 and I was really difficult for me,” said Naina Singh, a teacher.
06/6No one can figure out the right age!
“If someone says that the right age to get married is 28 or 30 or whatever, just pay no attention to him. The perfect age for marriage is a myth. No one can tell you at what age should you get married. It is you who will decide. I got married at 35, and it’s been seven years and I am not yet sure if that was the right age for me to get married. Would my life change if I had taken the plunge at my 20s or my 40s? Yes. Would it have been perfect? No. Marriage requires a lot of work and it doesn’t matter at what age you get married, if you don’t work hard, invest your emotions and do the right thing, it will never work,” said Satish Raj Singh, an entrepreneur.
(All images used here are representational)