Family life coach and consultant, Allan Akomeng Mensah has advised pastors to approach sex with their wives as men and not with a missionary mindset.
This was in response to a pastor’s concern about his wife denying him oral sex after 37 years of marriage, leaving him in a conflicted state whenever he sets his eyes on other young ladies.
The worried pastor, who narrated his story on Joy Prime’s Prime Morning via WhatsApp, said, “We’ve been together for 37 years with four grown-up kids. Married by ordnance and living in our own house, though uncompleted. I haven’t enjoyed my sexual life to the fullest maximum, and she is now in her menopause.”
“No oral sex, which is my favourite; no romance; no life in the house; always missionary style; and she’s now old, so I missed a romantic youthful period. What do I do now? I feel like I have missed something anytime I see younger single ladies,” he continued.
Addressing the situation on the show, the family life coach explained that most pastors have marital problems due to their approach during sex with their partners.
Speaking to the host, Asieduwaa Akumia, Mr. Mensah said, “You approach sex as a man, not as a pastor. You married as a man and not as a pastor… The bottom line is the fact that you married as a man and practice as a pastor. You have to be a man; otherwise, why would you show your nakedness to another woman? So, break the ice around your title, accolade, or ministry, and get home and be a man.”
Prior to that, he counselled young men who aspire to be pastors to negotiate with their wives from the beginning of the marriage so they may explore and enjoy a fulfilling and happy marriage.
In addition to that, he implored them to devote time to their intimacy by paying attention to each other’s sexual interest rather than praying, reading, and meditating on the Bible every now and then. He also entreated pastors to buy seductive lingerie for their wives to look attractive at home.
With regards to the pastor’s situation, Mr. Mensah stated that the man of God failed to negotiate with his wife at the beginning of their union.
However, regardless of a partner’s attitude in the marriage, the relationship expert noted that one should put in effort and work hard by adjusting or making the person accept them as they are in order to live peacefully and enjoy the marriage.