SO you’ve finally met a man you like and can see yourself having a relationship with him. You should make an effort to show him you’re a real find and an amazing partner, right?
Actually, no. The fantastic thing about being a woman is that getting a man to see how wonderful you are doesn’t involve any effort at all. It’s all about simply being, not doing. To do that, you must first be open to receive.
1. They let a man chase them, not the other way around
When you shower him with affection, attention, dinners, and gifts, and always go out of your way to drive to his place, it makes him think of you as a mother or a friend instead of inspiring his emotional desire for you.
When you are open to receiving from a man, you are sending a message that you value yourself and that you believe you are worthy of his time, attention, gestures, and ultimately his love.
Valuing yourself can also do you some good. People with high self-esteem generally have more success at school and work, better social relationships, and improved mental and physical health. So resist the temptation to prove your worth by giving, and instead create the space for him to give to you.
2. They enforce boundaries that a man must respect
Men are competitive creatures who value what they must work hard to get. If he gets a sense that you’re completely devoted to him with very little investment on his part, he’ll question your value. Research from 2018 found that couples who effectively set and maintain boundaries experience higher relationship satisfaction.
This means you do not give away exclusivity to a man until you have the commitment you want from him. Instead, you keep dating and meeting lots of different men, so you give yourself a chance to find out what you want and need from a relationship. At the same time, you aren’t prematurely cutting yourself off from your Mr. Right in case you haven’t met him yet.
When you keep the focus on yourself and keep yourself open to other men, you send the message that you’re a woman who puts herself first and that you are a prize. This elevates your “degree of difficulty,” so he has to step up his game to get you all to himself… or risk another guy beating him to it.
The most important thing to remember when you are dating a man and want him to realise how wonderful you are is to put your happiness first. What’s the easiest way to be happy? Research from Harvard University found that the easiest ways to be happy are exercising and practicing gratitude.
If you love taking a dance classed, don’t give it up just because he’s in the picture and you don’t want him to think you’re not interested.
Letting him know you have a life before him makes him more attracted to you — not just because you’re not about to drop everything for him, but because people who are passionate about their interests are interesting.
It might feel a little scary to do this with a guy you like, but the right guy will gladly re-arrange his plans to see you. Why? Because you’ve just proven you’re a great catch he has to woo and win