Veteran Nollywood actor Bob-Manuel Udokwu has shared his insights on building a lasting marriage, urging singles to focus on deeper values rather than superficial traits like wealth and physical appearance.
In an interview with The Punch, the actor, who has been married for 24 years since February 19, 2000, noted that the secret to a healthy marriage starts with a blissful dating period.
He advised:
“I will tell them to look beyond the present. When I say the present, I mean superficial things like beauty, handsomeness, and material things. The world, these days, is very materialistic; young people nowadays in Nigeria are too materialistic. All their focus is on material things. It always does not work like that.
Some of our parents started with nothing. Some of our fathers were not millionaires, they did not even have thousands of naira before marrying our mothers, yet they built sustainable marriages.
You will find out that it is not the most glamorous wedding that lasts well, and it is also not the most wretched wedding that makes the best of marriage. It is the individuals that make marriages work.
Examples abound of very wealthy families whose children get married, although through arranged marriages, and the marriages would collapse after a few months.
By now, one or two children would have come in and, even though they have the money, such children grow up without any sense of direction. Young people should think about the future. They should consider what would happen 10, 20 years from now.
Such decisions are deeply personal. Historically, women have had the foresight to recognize the potential in men even when they possess little material wealth.
Some older women often recall that their husbands had “nothing” when they married, though that “nothing” symbolized a potential for growth.
Sadly, today’s world has shifted, and marriage has become more transactional, with wealth being the primary criterion.
True wealth is transient, and those who look beyond it often find stability. In previous generations, divorce was rare and seen as a taboo, but today, financial and peer pressures lead many marriages to break down. People should carefully consider what they want from marriage.”