Whether you’re just starting to date someone or you’re out there meeting new people, most of us want to know how to better connect with our date. But let’s face it, figuring out how to can be tricky.
Luckily, dating coach Sabrina Zohar has three questions that you can ask to help deepen your emotional connection with the person you’re dating.
1. What’s the worst thing an ex would say about you?
When you’re getting to know someone, learning about their past relationships can help deepen your bond and give you valuable insight into who they are.
So, after you’ve been dating for a while, go ahead and ask them, “What is the worst thing that an ex or past date would say about you,” says Zohar.
Zohar goes on to say that one of her old clients used to say that his exes always complained about his bad communication.
Unsurprisingly, this client couldn’t keep a relationship because of their horrible communication skills.
This is why asking this question is so important. Seeing how they respond and if they take accountability is a great sign that the person you’re dating will make a great partner.
Moreover, it opens the door for a deeper conversation, leading to a deeper connection with your date.
2. What’s your biggest fear about being in a relationship?
If you really want to get personal, ask them what their greatest fears are when it comes to being in a relationship, suggests Zohar. Now, you may be asking, “Why is this important?”
But as Zohar points out, “Fear is what’s driving most of us.” And addressing that fear can lead to an honest and vulnerable conversation with your date.
This also helps you both work as a team, helping you resolve any issues you may have together.
3. What’s one thing about you that people don’t notice immediately, but you wish they did?
Want to know the person you’re dating better? Ask them, “What’s one thing about you that people don’t notice right away, but you wish they did?”
Through this, you’ll begin to learn about your date’s values and characteristics. You’ll learn what’s important to them and what traits they treasure the most.
This line of questioning can also help you to see how much you truly have in common with this person.
But remember, it’s best to have these conversations when you’ve known each other for at least a couple of months.
Getting too personal too quickly can throw people off and make them uncomfortable. So, make sure you’ve already built some sort of connection before asking these questions.
Dating and building real connections isn’t easy. Vulnerability isn’t something that comes naturally to most people, and finding someone who’s looking for a deep connection isn’t always the easiest in our current dating world.
But if you’ve been seeing someone for a while and want to begin strengthening your bond, then asking these three questions can definitely help.
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