Folks, let me share an experience with you. I classify it as one of the instructive learning curves in my life, and I hope you spot the lesson as well. So what is the story?
When I became the SRC PRO at Legon, I fell in love with a certain level 100 girl by name Lucy [name is fictional].
We met under very unpleasant circumstances, but what started out roughly later became a blissful affair.
Our relationship was marked by very exciting memories which I cannot forget in a hurry. She was to me a rose, a friend, a sister and everything that represents warmth.
Lucy was domiciled at Pent. For those of you who’re not familiar with the University of Ghana community, think of Pent as the ‘Trassaco’ of Legon. As a result, it is usually inhabited by the ‘rich kids’ and the bourgeois.
In addition to the comfort of sleeping in a prestige hall, she also had a room to herself and a car to aid mobility.
For many students, owning a car on campus is a huge luxury, but Lucy had it at her beck and call, and changed them as and when she pleased. In the local Ghanaian parlance, we would say she was a ‘Dbee ankasa!’
At this point, do I even have to tell you about the huge economic disparity between the two of us? Indeed, the gap between us was similar to the current value of the Cedi and the US dollar.
Her dad headed a bank, while her mother traded overseas. As a result, her purse was always lined with fine notes she didn’t even need.
But Lucy didn’t keep her fortunes to herself. She had a generous heart and as a result, her substance rubbed off on me as well. Forget the embellishment. All I am saying in plain words is that the pretty girl fed me.
Indeed, that was not the only good I derived from that relationship. Being in Lucy’s company also gave me a good feel of exciting conversations, plus other ‘benefits’ I cannot discuss here. If I do, you people will say I’m a ‘bad boy’, so let me shelve the details for another day.
Now I want to believe that any boy in my shoes would have loved to keep that relationship; and the truth of the matter is that I also wanted to tighten the screws with Lucy.
My resolve to stay with her had nothing to do with the material benefits. NOT AT ALL! What kept me close was the compatibility we shared and the bond we had.
For the 8 months we dated, I didn’t have to force Lucy to laugh at my jokes. The moment they fell from my lips, she sensed the humour and reacted accordingly.
Like a psychologist will say, there was a very healthy telepathy between us, and a very beautiful one for that matter.
But how did it end? How did Lucy slip out of my hands? Ambition. Now let me explain. As the spokesperson of the SRC, I was eyeing the SRC Presidency as well.
Right from the day I entered UG, I was determined to become the SRC President of the nation’s premier university.
As a ‘future SRC President’ therefore, I was looking at having a partner, who was also ‘politically-inclined’, and very familiar with the so-called political terrain.
Sadly, this was a disposition Lucy didn’t have. Quite frankly, she wasn’t interested in my aspirations and didn’t care.
In my mind, that was an indication of an ‘unsupportive partner’, so gradually, I started having second thoughts about her.
Anytime I raised the conversation about SRC and student affairs, she either commented passively or did not engage at all. This was sometimes frustrating.
However, Lucy’s interest was tied to drama and creative stuff. Occasionally, she would buy tickets for us to go and watch productions at the E.T.S drama studio and sometimes venues outside campus. They excited her, while the political conversations distorted her mood.
Soon, this difference developed into petty arguments. The arguments evolved into days of no communication, and the prolonged days of silence eventually collapsed the relationship. Honestly, Lucy didn’t want it to end, but I welcomed the separation.
You know why? Around that time, I had started talking to a certain lady in the Debate Society who shared a similar political interest with me.
As a result, there was no motivation to seal the gap that had been created between Lucy and me.
As far as my ambitious heart was concerned, I had met my ‘first lady’ who had the ‘presidential vibes’ and so to hell with Lucy, who supposedly didn’t have that knack. In addition, this new friend was beautiful as well, so yeah, why not?
On a balance of convenience, this new girl looked like a better option than Lucy, and as such I closed chapters with Lucy and focused on Amanda [name fictional].
Lucy was only in level 100, therefore my decision hurt her. I need to add that I was the very first boy she was dating and therefore my exit had a crushing impact on her.
But I also couldn’t live with a partner, who didn’t have any interest in my pursuit. Forget the fact that she was generous et al, there was a missing element of connectivity somewhere.
Let me cut the long story short. By the time Lucy was leaving school, she had served in various leadership positions, including being a Secretary of the new hall she had relocated to.
How Lucy suddenly developed the interest in leadership, I don’t know. But the ‘politically naïve’ girl I ditched actually had leadership interests and potentials which only needed time to manifest.
What is the morale of this story? Patience! Everybody is a product of time and process, and people also grow as the days pass by.
It is therefore unwise to write people off just because of their present lows, ‘inefficiencies’ and ‘lapses’. That attitude of haste is ALWAYS COSTLY.
Meanwhile, Amanda’s wedding is next month, and I truly wish her well. But it won’t be bad if the wind blows a few times when the canopies are being fixed.
In the meantime, learn to be patient with people.
The author of this piece is a writer, a corporate emcee and a broadcast journalist, currently working with The Multimedia Group. You can reach him on (+233) 273141821 or derrick.ayirebi-acquah@myjoyonline.com.