For young Oforiwaa, becoming the breadwinner of the household was not a big deal since she saw it as the responsibility of a wife whose husband is unemployed.
According to the young damsel, she loved her husband dearly and was willing to go to the moon just to make sure he was comfortable through those trying times.
Sharing her story on Silent Beads, Oforiwaa recounted how she met her husband and the hurdles they had to tackle to get to the end of the tunnel.
She said she had been friends with her husband for a long time, thus, when he asked her to be his girlfriend, she did not think twice.
By so doing, she took on the new role of a girlfriend of an unemployed graduate.
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“Our relationship was smooth so not long after the proposal, we started preparing for marriage. He wasn’t working then. I was the one working, so I was the one bringing home the bread in the relationship,” she wrote.
“Because my fiancé wasn’t working, I bore the cost of the wedding. He didn’t contribute a pesewa or buy anything in the name of the wedding. I paid for everything—from the knocking ceremony to the white wedding,” she added.
Judge her however you want, but Oforiwaa said although it didn’t feel right, she saw it as an investment.
For four years, Oforiwaa was the sole financial provider of the house. But there was a glimmer of hope that her husband will soon get a job and the burden of taking care of a family of four – two children and parents – will be over.
That day finally came. Oforiwaa’s husband got a job.
“He was my husband and we were partners so I gave him access to my finances including my ATM pin. Everything I knew he knew. That was how much I trusted him, and how transparent I was in the marriage.
“Four years after our marriage he got a job. I was relieved and happy at the same time. Finally, I could think of him as someone who could help pay the bills and help pay the rent.”
But this happiness was short-lived.
His behaviour changed. Lies and cheating became his character.
“When his salary started coming, the change in him became drastic. The first thing he did was to put a password on his phone. He wouldn’t tell me how much he earned and I couldn’t access his phone to find out.
“Things got messier when I got pregnant with our third child. While I was having complications with my pregnancy, I found out that he was cheating on me. As if that wasn’t enough, he started misbehaving toward my family. I didn’t fight him or try to even talk about what he was doing. I just wanted my baby to be okay so that I would deliver in peace. Unfortunately, I lost that baby. The little I expected from my husband was to show care and empathy at that moment of grief but he didn’t care. He didn’t care about me and didn’t care about the turn of events. His concern was with the woman he was cheating on me with,” the pained wife recounted.
She further added, “He came to me one day and said, ‘I am planning on marrying a second wife. You already know her. I no longer want it to be in the dark so you tell me I’m cheating. I’m making it official now so we stop the cat and mouse chase.’”
Each statement from her husband was like a sword piercing her heart.
Four years of sacrifice. Four years of loyalty, Four years of dedication to a jobless man was all for nothing.
She, however, wasn’t going to sit aloof for her efforts to be wasted, she turned to her husband’s parents to talk to their son.
Here, according to Oforiwaa, is where she discovered something jaw-dropping.
“I went to his mother to lodge a complaint about her son’s behavior but she already knew of her son’s plan to marry another woman. She said, “I want him to marry a woman from our hometown so that his children will not be lost.”
According to her, further investigations revealed that her husband has already had a baby with the girl.
“It looked like I was the only one who didn’t know what was happening. My husband cheated on me and has a child with his mistress but they were all acting as if it was something normal. This man has dishonored our marriage and made a mockery of our vows yet no one was holding him accountable.”
Oforiwaa said she has therefore decided to file for divorce.
“The unfortunate thing is this; not long after he got a job, I lost mine. Currently, I’m unemployed. I am only biding my time till I stand on my feet again. And I’m patiently waiting for the moment he marries his mistress and then I would walk out of the marriage and never look back,” she wrote.
There is a popular adage that “A woman’s loyalty is tested when her man has nothing and a man’s loyalty is tested when he has everything.”
Even though Oforiwaa passed her test by standing next to her boyfriend who later became her husband through thick and thin. Her husband failed.