When you’re trying to start a family, struggling with fertility can be exhausting to deal with – not to mention the costs that can be involved when it comes to treatments.
And one woman on Reddit has been left particularly “devastated” during her own battle with fertility, as her husband has been completely tone-deaf to the situation, and has even suggested sleeping with her sister to give them a baby the “traditional way”.
Sharing her story anonymously on Reddit’s True Off My Chest forum, the 34-year-old woman said her sister has agreed to be the surrogate mother for the couple if they decide to try IVF.
But after investigating how much time and money it could cost, the woman’s husband, 37, thinks it would be easier for everyone if he just had sex with his wife’s sister instead.
She wrote in her post: “My husband and I have been struggling with infertility. We’ve tried some options and right now we’re looking into surrogacy.
“My sister agreed to do it, but my husband said he looked at how much time and money IVF would take and slowly started hinting that we take the traditional way.
“I was too shocked to even say anything, but he acted like what he said was not even that big of a deal. He explained that it’s just a quick way for us to have a baby and spare the money and time to use later.
The woman has put her foot down and refused to go through with her husband’s plan – but he is now accusing her of being “selfish”, and is “blaming” her for not being able to give him a child naturally.
She added: “I’m both devastated over the fact that he’d even entertain having sex with my sister just because he wants the easy way and if I ever agree despite feeling uncomfortable then I will always carry this memory of how the baby is conceived.
“I refused and shut his suggestion down hard. He’s now started guilting me saying I don’t trust him then saying I’m selfish for choosing to back out when he still wants to be a dad like he expected when he married me. Basically blaming me for my infertility issues.
“I feel so devasted and like my body is useless and has failed me to the point where I could expect any negative comment on it whether true on not. Emotionally and mentally … I just can’t express how I feel right now.”
Commenters on the Reddit post were quick to offer their sympathy to the woman, as many of them were left completely baffled by her husband’s actions.
One said: “Damn that’s creepy. Sorry, your husband sounds like an a**hole.”
As another wrote: “Okay this is so wrong. Even if this was a cheaper and more realistic option, you could do your own insemination with a syringe or baster. With you present and no actual physical sex.
“Honestly, sounds like your husband just wants to cheat on you? I’d have a serious talk and seriously consider if you even want a baby at this point. You both need to be on the same page.”