As a 23-year-old, my mum keeps leaving hints suggesting I should not be single, especially after noticing the number of potential suitors I had at the University.
Unless a conversation about relationships don’t spring up, my mum will ask “So, who is your girlfriend? … Is that your girlfriend you were talking to? … You don’t have a girlfriend?”
All this while, the answer has been ‘no’. It is not out of place for her to ask especially when my elder brother once introduced his girlfriend to the family.
Believe me or not, I realized I had a story to tell while sitting in a public transit better known as “trotro” on my way to my mum’s shop at Kotobabi in Accra.
At about 4:30 pm on Tuesday, February 8, I left the office. I did not think of my love life or the agape kind until I read an article where the writer spoke of how she realized she was not Zeus as imagined when climbing what I recall to be a hill at Aburi.
There was no direct connection, I will admit but someway somehow, something in that piece triggered me. I wanted to tell my story; one I never thought I would share with millions of people across the globe.
Was I worried many would judge me and think I am weird and have just the minority say “be you and live your life?” I know what could have gained your attention to want to peek into my life so let us hit the road.
Whenever I see two people in love or people who claim to be in love, the sight is just wonderful; as a spectator I mean. President Akufo-Addo says to be citizens and not spectators. In the terrain of love however, your Excellency, please permit me to be benched. Love they say makes one crazy for all the good reasons but would you love to host a crazy person in your home?
I am a homo sapien filled with so much intensity and desire but some things are for men only. Men have so much to shoulder and why is this? Women. A woman appears to be the answer to everything in this country. Why are you sad? Get a woman they say. You are very happy, you are growing fat. Your woman must be doing something right, they will also say.
No offence, women were beautifully made and are a blessing. But without them, can’t I be blessed or happy or be sad and all alone in peace? Can’t I find happiness in another or must it be a woman by hook or crook? How do I tell or convince my mum my radar is picking something else?
I want something else, yes. Is it what you are thinking, maybe? Can I be just blunt about it? I want something different from the ordinary and here is why.
I want to be pampered. I want to order anything when we go out partying or just a casual hangout and not be worried about how the bill will be settled. I want to be able to also go out and not get jealous of that lady because I am also in “strong arms.” No offence to the female feminists, they are very capable and independent.
Is it wrong to want that very being who can have my back; someone so powerful? One who can change a situation by just a swipe on the machine when the waiter approaches? Don’t judge me yet. I’m building my case.
Today is Valentine’s Day and I assume most of the attention and the gifts will be to women. Men, some say really don’t care about such stuff because most often, they do the giving. Then if that is the case, I picked a side that I can also receive.
Yes, growing up, I realized I liked something else. Besides, what have I been training for all this while? Three years at the Senior High School and it was an all-male sex school. Can you believe these boys also wanted it? Hmm! Could that have contributed to this lust for my other half that gives me so much happiness which many condemn but also want? Judge me not, I implore.
Four years at the university was not easy also with three roommates who were all males. Even though they had girlfriends, they wanted what I was searching for as well. Even the ladies want it to.
But they say they just don’t get how someone as heavenly as I look has never had a girlfriend. They started suspecting me just as you are right now. Maybe, you have already condemned me but let me say, you are wrong.
Can I not be attracted to money in peace? I am happy my heart belongs to money. Yes, it is money I have been talking about all this while. I am happy though single in the month of love because money caresses me in so many ways.
I have been training all my life to meet money and do unspeakable things to money. Why did I school? Say education? Education is not an end in itself but a means to an end. Valentine’s Day is about love. Love is broad and envelopes so much other than the romantic.
Money makes two people in a relationship so happy, guess how much gayer I am knowing I will not be spending my money on anyone other than myself. Self-love is also love.
Money is love and love is money. Love is an action and guess what moves that action, money. If you thought I was going to drag this issue, I’m sorry. Money is simple and doesn’t have to do so much explanation. I want to spend my Valentine with you, money. You are the lover of my heart and I love you for being my Valentine.
The writer; Andy Ogbarmey-Tettey is a journalist working with Multimedia Group Limited, to be specific the digital department, MyJoyOnline.com.
Connect with him via email: Andy.Ogbarmey@gmail.com and on Twitter @AndyOgbarmey.