Dear Coleen
My relationship has been bad for a while – it’s not me, it’s him. He’s more interested in video games, cycling and drinking with his mates than he is in me. We’ve been together for five years (no children) and live together.
I’ve tried so many things to get him to notice me and pay me some attention – dressing really nicely, wearing very sexy lingerie, initiating sex, booking things for us to do together – but nothing works.
My latest ploy was some very heavy flirting with an ex on a night out, but my boyfriend barely looked up from his pint. Is all lost?
Please tell me if I should give up on this man.
Coleen says…
Instead of dressing up like a peacock and prancing around, hoping to be noticed, be direct and say: “I’m not happy, I think I’m wasting my time, so it’s up to you because I’m seriously thinking of leaving.”
You have to be prepared that his answer might not be what you’d hoped for. It might shock him into realising that he takes you for granted or he might say he’s not sure either. The upside of the latter is at least you’ll know where you stand and don’t have to keep wasting your time.
He should love and fancy you whether you’re in your PJs or sexy lingerie – it’s meant to be about you, not what you’re wearing. He is taking you for granted, so much so he doesn’t think he has to make any effort.