Question: Hi! I am a 22-year-old man doing my post-graduation. I am in love with one of my classmates for a long time. We have known each other since school days. During our 10th standard, she had a boyfriend. He was from our school.
They were together for three years but the guy went abroad to continue his graduation. I came to know from her friends that they had a very ugly break-up because her ex-boyfriend slowly started cutting off all communication with her.
And a year later, when he visited home, they had a big fight. Even their families got involved and this became the talk of the town. Now coming back to my problem. It so happened that I have been in love with her since school days and we became very good friends in college.
But I never had the courage to tell her about my feelings because she was still not over her break-up. So, I was very elated when I found that both of us had got a seat in the same university to pursue our post-graduation. So, a few months after we started our classes, I gathered enough courage to propose my love for her.
She looked very shocked and hurt. She said, “You know everything about me. You know that I am still in love with him. How can you do this? I will be your friend if you want me to be one. Otherwise, please do not talk to me.
A girl never forgets her first love!” I was really heartbroken. Now I am like a friend to her. But I love her. It’s killing me from inside.
Does a woman never forgets her first love? Please help me. Tell me what should I do? —By Anonymous
Response by Kamna Chhibber: Every individual requires their own time to overcome the setbacks they experience in their life, including in the relationship they have had with a partner in the past. It is very difficult to say how long the lady you have an interest in may take to move forward.
Currently, she explicitly is sharing that she is not in that emotional and psychological space where she would like to consider a relationship. However, the positive is that she does seek a confidant and a friend and you need to figure if you can be in that space with her or not. It would certainly be difficult for you and you would need to make your own choice about the same and see if it is something that works for you or not.
Do not go ahead being around her with the hope she would someday date you because it is not possible to predict whether she would like to date you or someone else at a later point in time. So whatever choice you make do so keeping in mind what is there in front of you currently.