1. How my life changed when I stopped comparing my life to others
One of the most successful investors of all times and a billionaire, Warren Buffet had once said, “The big question about how people behave is whether they’ve got an inner scorecard or an outer scorecard. It helps if you can be satisfied with an inner scorecard.” Most people have an outer scorecard, which means there is a comparison between them and someone else. For example, if your friend has a luxury car, you would definitely want to have one too. Comparison drives our behaviour and it can be quite dangerous. And I too had experienced the same.
2. My friends’ romantic life vs. mine
Just after marriage, my bubble of happiness was burst when I returned from the honeymoon. We had gone to Goa on a romantic vacation and I was so full of it that I could hardly stop myself from bragging in front of my married friends and slowly everyone started sharing their experience too. And when a few said that they had gone to exotic foreign locations, a tiny green monster of envy started rearing its head inside me. There came a moment when the beautiful evenings of Goa started losing its sheen.
3. Social media only made it worse!
Social media slowly turned into my worst nightmare. While I was trying hard to adjust to a new life, my friends were either vacationing abroad or meeting friends and family over drinks and dinner. They also shared everything on their social media posts—from shopping trips to watching the latest movie, wearing designer clothes to buying the latest kitchen gadgets. Somehow, my life seemed so measly. There were moments of doubts and I started wondering if I would ever lead such a life. And it made me sad, very sad.
4. Is it only me who had problems in life?
As time passed, I slowly started discovering new challenges in my married life. My relationship with my in-laws was rather strained and when I shared this with my friends, they all sympathized with me but at the same time, I also realised that they had quite healthy relationships with their husbands’ family. It made me wonder if I am the only one who had problems in her married life?
5. The outer scorecard made me feel miserable
I spiralled into depression, and I finally ended up taking help from a relationship counsellor. It was then I realised how I was ruining my own happiness by comparing my life with others. It took me a while to break free from this habit but once I started distancing myself from other’s life, I could feel a sense of calmness descending upon me.
6. Everyone’s life is unique
I stopped feeling envious and insecure as I gradually stopped comparing my life with others. My discontentment with life also slowly vanished when I stopped complaining about my situation. A big help in achieving this state of mind came from stopping one act—that of mindless scrolling through social media posts. I also started practising gratefulness and this made me appreciate the beautiful things I was enjoying in my life. I started acknowledging the help and support I was getting from my husband, which till now never caught my attention. Life is beautiful and I soon realised it when I stopped comparing my life with others.
TIMESOFINDIA.COM| Shakshi Mishra