Marriage is a long-term commitment that turns sour if the couple does not understand each other and their expectations are not met.
Couple planning their wedding
Having the right experiences before you get married is one of the best ways to position yourself for a long and healthy marriage. If you’re getting ready for marriage, now’s the time to get your life ready to accommodate someone else’s life.
You wouldn’t take an exam without studying beforehand. You wouldn’t run a marathon without extensive training before the race. It is the same with marriage: preparing for marriage is critical in smoothing the way for a happy, satisfying and prosperous married life.
Here are some things you should be in sync or agreement with your partner before you walk down the aisle:
- Communication styles
Every relationship goes through various arguments and fights, but only communication and compromise make things better. Therefore, it is important to communicate with another person to eliminate any kind of misunderstanding.
Communication helps in reducing the number of fights between a couple and enables them to understand each other in every situation, no matter what they go through. Therefore, before getting married, make sure you establish healthy communication between yourself and your partner.
Some very successful marriages are between people with very different opinions and ideas. But what makes these marriages work so well is communication. In other words, you don’t have to think exactly like each other (how boring!) but respectful communication is key.
- Money matters
Share your short-term goals and your savings and expenses with them when preparing for marriage. Following this little advice before marriage is essential because it helps you better manage expectations and your joint finances.
As uncomfortable as some of us are with discussing finances, you need to be clear on how you view money with each other. Will you open shared bank accounts and mix funds? Are you a saver or a spender? Think about your spending and saving styles.
Finances are an area that can be a minefield since money can be the source of many marital arguments. Make sure you both have a clear idea of your assets before marriage.
- Explore psychological health
Nobody’s perfect, including you and your partner. Whether it’s a lifelong struggle with anxiety, a new problem with anger, a tendency to get depressed, or poor conflict management skills, you may have some psychological baggage that troubles you.
You don’t have to “fix” these issues to get married. You just have to know about them when preparing for marriage. Once you have a keen understanding of your psychological liabilities, you’ll be better equipped to discuss them with your partner and discuss ways to manage them.
- The role of sex
How much sex is “ideal” for a couple? What would you do if your libidos were not equal? What would you do if one of you became unable to have sex through impotence, frigidity, or illness?
Again, it is vital to learn how your partner feels about these areas before you are married. Sex is an integral part of most marriages and therefore, you should clarify your sexual expectations and needs when getting ready for marriage.
Research has shown that relationship satisfaction and sexual satisfaction are intimately connected for couples in long-term relationships. By having healthy discussions and openness, you can maintain a satisfying sex life that helps your marriage overall.
- Wedding details
Things to prepare for weddings can take a toll on relationships. When preparing for marriage, it is important to take time out and iron out the details of what kind of wedding you and your partner want.
The stress and mistakes made on your wedding day should not be allowed to add negativity to the initial days of your marriage.
You should have a pretty good idea of how big or how small you want the wedding to be and who the guest list will include or exclude.
- Monogamy or polygamy
It might be an awkward conversation to discuss whether you both prefer to be in a monogamous relationship or a polyamorous one. Not only will it establish boundaries within the relationship, but it will also define your relationship with people outside the marriage.
Are you willing to stick to just one person all your life? Are you cut out for monogamy?
- Division of household chores
The two of you need to be clear about managing the house and dividing your responsibilities when preparing for marriage.
One of the spouses should not completely ignore the household chores just because they claim to be not good at it or don’t consider it their job.