Nowadays, people are so quick to get married. But before you rush to put the ring on it, you should have some important topic discussions to figure out if really, you’re compatible.
It’s one thing to love each other but it’s another to live together and raise a family and go through the trials that marriage comes towed with. Here are topics you need to discuss prior to:
1. Finances.
At the end of the day, love will not pay the bills. When the kids come, will you both be in a position to take care of the kids, give them good education, pay the bills and stuff? Look, you both don’t have to have made it in life but if you’re planning a future together, it’s important to figure out how you will get your finances right.
2. Kids.
Do you want to have kids in the future? If not, is your partner okay with it? If yes, how many? This is also an important topic to have way before you get married so that once you have tied the knot, you’re not shocked that suddenly, your partner wants a big family.
3. Beliefs and values.
Do you stand by the same values? How do you both want to raise your kids? Do you want the same things, such as to raise them following a certain denomination, to get a certain type of education and such? Imagine getting married to someone, having kids and suddenly your partner is against vaccination and you’re not? Or your partner does not believe in contraceptives or is an atheist and you’re not?
4. Lifestyle.
While it’s okay to have different hobbies, it always helps when a couple likes the same things. But in the event you don’t, it’s important to put it out there so that one can start practicing or compromising, in a good way of course.
This is for example if one person is vegetarian and the other is not, that means that you will have to have meal plans or one may have to compromise when it comes to going to certain restaurants and what not so it’s important to get that out there and see if that’s something you actually wanna have to deal with all your life.
5. Communication.
How do you deal with conflict in the relationship? Because, conflicts will arise, a lot of time. Do you get distant or prefer to tackle the problem before going to bed? Lack of communication is one of the reasons why most relationships go down the drain and you need to figure that out. The best couples are those that have the “No going to bed when angry” rule. If you’re the kind that gets mad and packs bags to run back to your mother’s what will you do when you’re married? You need to find amicable ways to solve problems in your relationship.
6. Sex.
Imagine having bad sex all your life? Talk about what you both like when it comes to bedroom matters. How do you like to be pleased and pleasured? Let your girlfriend or man know. You definitely don’t want weird surprises in future, like ‘funny’ fetishes and stuff….
7. Extended family.
Are there important things you need to know about the extended family beforehand? Like customary family traditions and what would be expected of you if the two of you ever got married? It’s really important to talk about these cultural values and differences prior to especially if you both come from different tribes/races and backgrounds.
In some African traditions especially, some tribes have very odd cultural practices and you wanna make sure you’re okay with some of that stuff before getting married. You may get married to someone and then God forbid they pass on and suddenly, you’re being subjected to wife inheritance.