5 ways to hold back anger when you quarrel with your lover

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1. ​How not to get angry during a fight with your partner

It’s not possible to be in a relationship and not fight with a lover. According to experts, healthy fights help couples to smoothen the wrinkles of disagreements in their relationship. However, what differentiates a healthy fight from an ugly one is the attitude of the partners. Getting angry and shouting at the other person during an argument would only make matters worse. But at the same time, we all know how difficult it is to contain one’s anger during a fight, be it with friends, family or a lover. So, here we bring to you a few tips to hold back your anger when you quarrel with your lover.

2. ​Deep breathing

When you feel the anger building up inside you waiting any moment to burst out, take a step back and practice deep breathing. Also, you can follow this pattern—before you say anything to your partner, take three deep breaths and slow down a little. And whatever you want to speak, say it in a low tone. Never ever shout because a raised voice always makes the listener believe that the other person is angry.

3. ​Understand the patterns

It’s really important to understand the patterns of your fights. Most couples fight in a particular way. Once you understand that and identify the pointers that instigate your anger, let your partner know about it. Avoiding these instigators might help you sort out disagreements in an amicable way without losing your temper.

4. Vent out your emotions

Sometimes pent up emotions tend to make us angry easily. If that is the reason behind your short temper, it will be wise to vent out your pent up emotions. Keeping a diary, talking to a friend or therapist, letting your partner know about it might be a few options you can explore. Generally, we get provoked by past issues easily, so it’s very important to keep a clean slate.

5. Try to think about the repercussions of your action

Before you end up acting in anger, pause and think about the repercussions it will have. Do you want to hurt your partner so much that he or she starts reconsidering the relationship with you? Maybe the consequences of your quick temper might help you to keep it under check during a fight with your partner.

6. ​Hug your partner tight when you get angry

Hugging a loved one and making love releases happy hormones in our body, which eventually help to calm down the nerves. So, whenever you are very angry at your partner, instead of shouting at him or her take a step closer and embrace the person in a tight hug.