1. A break-up doesn’t always have to be tragic. Here’s what I learnt
A break-up can teach a person a lot about love and relationship, and it does not necessarily have to be tragic always. And when I ended my five-year-long relationship with my boyfriend for unreconciled differences, I thought I would never be able to get over it. Honestly, it did hurt a lot but as they say, time is a great healer. My life slowly limped back to normal. And today, I can proudly say that the break-up taught me a lot about love and relationship.
2. There is no Mr. Right or Ms. Right
When you are in a relationship or dating a person, you tend to ignore all the flaws of your partner. And I was no different. I was so deeply in love with my boyfriend that I believed in only his good qualities. But after the break-up, I realised how flawed my concept of Mr. Right was. And with time, I realised it’s not always wise to ignore the drawbacks or toxic habits of a partner believing him or her to be perfect.
3. You should not hesitate to end a relationship that isn’t working
When I saw the cracks appearing in our relationship, I tried my best to repair those. I always dreamt of a brighter tomorrow when the present turned dark. It took me almost two years to realise that the relationship would not work and we two were slowly drifting apart. I refused to accept the reality and ended up paying a big price—my mental health and peace of mind. I wish I had known that there is no shame in accepting that a relationship is not working. But the break-up taught me this valuable lesson.
4. Compatibility does not always guarantee a happy relationship
We all believe that for a relationship to survive for long, both the partners need to be compatible. And I was happy to have found a partner who was just like me—we both had similar tastes in food, music, books and everything. But unfortunately, our personalities were totally different. I was an introvert while he was an extrovert. He had anger issues while I rarely had any outbursts. Sometimes, compatibility is not the only factor to decide the strength of a relationship.
5. You might be attracted to a third person even when you are in a relationship
When you are in a relationship you can never think of being attracted to another person. But that is not the case always. There were certain incidents during the course of our relationship, which I believe, I should have handled better. Once I found my boyfriend admiring one of his female colleagues and that really made me angry. We even fought over that issue. But it took me a long time after we parted ways to accept that a person can feel attracted to a third person even after being in a stable relationship. Attraction and admiration do not always point towards an affair. Reacting strongly or objecting to such feelings can have an adverse effect on the relationship and both the partners.
6. A relationship is not always about equality
We are a strange generation. We demand equality in the workplace and life. And at the same time, we also have campaigns for women demanding period leave in office. Similarly, couples too want to have equal roles in a relationship. But that is not always possible. Sometimes, we have to know what we can do and what we cannot, and it takes a lot of strength to accept our weakness. I wish I had known that when I was in a relationship.