“How could he?” “How could he have done that to us?” This is what a lot of my clients say when they are in the process of getting over their husband’s infidelity.
The majority would say that such an event such as this is tragic. Yet, to think like that for the long term is very detrimental to the person who feels betrayed because holding onto the resentments will only make things worse for them.
However, to finally let go of the event, would it not make more sense to find peace in the turmoil and look to feel gratitude for how he behaved? Below are five different ways recovering from a cheating husband can be easy.
Here are 5 reasons your husband’s affair was the best thing to happen to you:
1. Your recovery can heal your wounds
Any kind of hurt, especially betrayal, is a fabulous way to heal your old wounds. Your husband’s affair will have just have been a trigger of hurt that was already there. All wounds come from unresolved hurt and your husband’s behavior will just be shining a light on them. An affair is probably the most painful way to have the relationship end and, at the same time, it is because of this pain that you can choose to heal, soothe it and understand it. By doing this you are working towards your wholeness and self-love, the biggest gift you can give yourself.
2. You’ll reclaim what’s important to you
Often, I see a lot of women who feel beaten and downtrodden because they realize they completely lost themselves in the relationship. I have found there is a definite correlation between women losing themselves in the relationship and their husbands having an affair. The problem at this point is they hand all the power over to their husband’s happiness, forget their own, and relinquish what is important to them. If this sounds like you, use this time to relinquish back your power and find what is important to you so you can get in touch with your purpose and reclaim your power. What bigger gift can you be given?
3. You’ll find your freedom
Even though you may not be able to see it yet, such situations will usually be the catalyst for your newfound freedom. Right now it may feel horrible; however, having it end like this usually creates such a rupture that you know deep inside he was not the right person for you. Even though the anger and resentment may still be there, use this to propel you towards this new chapter of your life with a clean break. Imagine for a moment you had a relationship breakdown where you both wanted to be friends. Do you think it might blur the lines to let go of the relationship? Of course, it would! I have worked with clients whose relationship did not end in a bad way, which inevitably made it harder to let go of, prolonging their suffering.
4. You’ll find someone better for you
The relationship ending this way is giving you the opportunity to find someone who is better suited for you. Things happen so better things can come our way. Why not let that be the case with the affair? Surely you can find someone better suited to you.
5. You’ll eventually embrace the learning opportunity
Painful situations are an opportunity for us to learn from them. It is usually during the most painful situations that we learn and grow. Once we emotionally heal, it’s important to take the lessons forward so we don’t find ourselves in the same situation over and over again. See this as a learning experience and ask yourself, “What have I learned from this? How can I take the learning to move forward most lovingly and compassionately?” Learning from painful situations is a big gift, as you can change what was not working and instead invite new ways of being.
Understand that your partner having the affair had nothing to do with you. How your husband has decided to act is his business. Just like you, he has a story; just like you, he has belief systems; just like you, he has stuff going on. This is the journey he has decided to embark on. The minute you make it about you, you will fall into the pain and suffering.