Has your guy been fairly silent in the three-little-words department and you’re trying to figure out the signs he means to say, “I love you”?
Not everyone is vocal (or obvious) about their feelings, and many of us often find it difficult to express those deeper emotions. But, just how are you supposed to know that your man is actually in full-on love with you if he isn’t saying it?
Men are far deeper creatures than television sitcoms would have you believe, and sometimes, they think they’re telling us things with their actions, rather than their words.
Learning to read his signals, body language and non-verbal communication is a very important part of being with him.
Maybe they just aren’t sure that it’s an appropriate time to spill the beans, or perhaps they’ve been burned before and are trying to take it a bit slower. Sometimes, men don’t say it out of a fear of rejection, fear of commitment, or because they have simply never said “I love you” before and it’s a bit terrifying.
These are all legitimate reasons and important to consider before you put any pressure on a guy to say those three little words that you’ve been longing to hear.
Whatever the reason, men do have a tendency to try and show you how much they love you, and maybe don’t put as much stock in saying it out loud all the time, or at all.
Even if you’re extremely patient, there will probably come a point when you’re trying to figure out if your guy is in love with you, and if he can’t (or possibly won’t) say it, then there are other ways he says, “I love you” that you can look for.
Men can be complicated, but figuring out if he really loves you doesn’t have to be!
Here are 15 subtle signs he loves you without him ever saying It — and what to do if it seems like he doesn’t.
1. His kisses are long and passionate
Who doesn’t love an excellent, lengthy kiss? When he’s continuously initiating these and you can feel the passion each time he does, it is clear that he’s more than just a little excited to be around you.
2. His friends love you
If all his buddies are starting to warm up to you and truly seem to enjoy your company, it could be because they know how happy you’re making their friend — thus making them start to find you as awesome as he does.
3. He likes to get close
You know how it’s unnerving when somebody you’re not interested in gets close to you? It’s the complete opposite when someone you adore tends to be closer in distance than he is to other people.
4. He smiles after kissing you
Sure, you can have a little sweet smile after kissing someone whose company you enjoy, but do you ever just feel like positively beaming when it’s someone you love?
If you catch him grinning after you kiss, it’s a great sign that he truly enjoys your company.
5. He listens intently
While he might not be saying much when it comes to your relationship and his feelings about it, the fact that he listens closely when you’re talking is incredibly significant.
He may lean in closer when you’re discussing important topics or nod when you say something poignant, showing how much your words mean to him.
6. He stands up straight
Most of us tend to slouch and have poorer posture than we should. However, if you’re trying to impress the person you care about most and want him or her to be most attracted to you, you’re going to stand or sit straight up.
7. He squeezes your hand
It may seem like a small gesture, but it contains all the intimacy in the world.
8. He calls or texts for no reason
Not all people do this when in love, so don’t take it personally if he doesn’t. That said, it’s a sign that he feels comfortable with you in non-romantic situations as well as the obvious ones, and that he’s thinking of you throughout the day.
9. He sticks around
Does he like to do activities together for no reason? For example, rather than just wanting to meet up at a dinner party, he’d rather go grocery shopping with you beforehand so the two of you can make a dish to bring together.
Simply doing household things shows an interest in being closer than just casual daters or sex partners.
10. He makes eye contact often
When you’re at a bar with friends, does he glance across the room just to make eye contact briefly and smile at one another?
This indicates how, even when you two are doing different things, he still wants you to be aware of how much he cares.
11. He runs his fingers through his hair
When people are nervous, they tend to run their fingers through their hair more often than normal.
Does he do this when the pair of you are in close proximity to one another and it’s a romantic moment? If so, it could show that he wants to say something intimate but can’t find the words.
12. He mirrors your behaviour
Does he tend to take bites of his food at the same time as you or do other things similarly?
He could be displaying isopraxism, the matching or behaviors that couples tend to do when becoming closer together.
13. He buys you meaningful gifts
When I say meaningful, I don’t mean expensive; I mean that he spends effort and puts serious thought into finding you something that truly fits your personality to a T.
I had one guy give me three pairs of socks: one with a crazy cute pattern, one specifically for boots and one for high heels. The week prior, I had gotten a blister on my foot due to not having thick enough socks for a pair of boots I had just purchased, so it was sweet and a clear indication of his listening skills that he remembered.
14. He laughs whenever you’re around — a lot
Does he find you funny and can’t help but giggle when you do something silly? As odd as it sounds, the more often he laughs and finds you hilarious, the more serious the level of interest and excitement surrounding your relationship is.
15. He touches you spontaneously
When you’re in a public place, does he put his fingers on your back to keep you close by? Does he hold your hand atop yours while you two are in a restaurant?
Random closeness via touching shows that he wants to maintain physical contact, even when it’s not sexual.
If you’ve read through this list of signs and still aren’t sure if he loves you, there’s really only one sure way to know, and that is to be direct and ask him how he is feeling.
And if the answer seems to be no, he doesn’t love you, you have a few choices you can make.
If you are in the early stages of a relationship, he may just need time and emotional space to allow his love and attachment to you development.
But if you have been together for a while and it seems like he just is not — and will not be — feeling it, you may want to consider moving on. The right man will love you in the way you deserve to be loved.