Most of us have probably been there. You absent-mindedly let slip a comment to a woman that you wish you could somehow take back immediately.
Sure, there are a ton of things you can say to just about anyone – male or female – that you should not say, but there are certain things on the “never say this” list that is almost guaranteed to be interpreted as hateful, mean, or insulting when you say them to a woman, no matter what your intent.
This is information that is particularly useful for guys because let’s face it, guys tend to sometimes say what’s on their mind without taking the time to consider the potential consequences.
1. WANT TO COME BACK TO MY PLACE?
Men are famous for being direct, and it often does not occur to them to present things in a more subtle manner when they share what’s on their mind. A man asking a woman if she wants to come to his place makes it pretty obvious that he is expecting something to happen. It’s best to be less direct about it and leave things more open-ended. Saying something like, “I’m having such a good time, I really don’t want to this night to end yet,” is going to be received a lot better, and will give her a chance to suggest going back to your place (or inviting you to hers!) if that’s what she really wants to do.
2. ARE YOU PLANNING TO WEAR THAT?
This may be a man’s not-too-subtle way of letting a woman know that he doesn’t think that outfit looks so great on her. And you can be sure that’s the way she’ll take it. There are far better ways to get a woman to ditch the outfit she’s wearing and put on something more flattering. Be creative. How about, “The weather forecast says it’s going to be hot and humid tonight, are you sure you won’t be too warm wearing something like that?”
3. CALM DOWN.
It might sound reasonable, but when you break it down, it’s not very constructive advice. Instead, think of something that can be done or said that might have a shot of actually calming her down. “Calm down,” is definitely not it.
4. YOUR SISTER IS SO HOT.
You can pretty much replace “sister” with any reference to another female, but the key thing to remember for men is to keep your mouth shut about how other women look unless you are asked. And in that case, it’s best to tone things down no matter how hot the other woman is. You don’t have to be totally cliché and say something like, “She’s pretty, but not as hot as you,” although with some women that might be just what they want to hear.
5. ARE YOU GOING TO EAT ALL OF THAT?
A guy could have a number of reasons for asking this question. He might be concerned that a woman will get fat, which is exactly how most women will take it. Even if it’s just out of genuine curiosity, or because he’s hoping she’ll share some of her food with him, it’s a much better idea for a guy to just go with something like, “That looks really good,” if he has to say something about the food.
6. YOU HAVE A REALLY PRETTY FACE
This is another one that may be said without any intent to do harm, and the guy may think he’s actually going to earn some points with it. This is another classic case of a man failing to fully engage his brain before operating his mouth. It always pays to pause and think of how something might be interpreted, especially with women, because they will almost always go with the least flattering option when trying to decipher what a man says.
7. MY EX…
When you start a sentence like this, there’s almost nowhere good you can go with it. Even if a man were to say something like, “My ex looks like an English Bulldog compared to you,” which he may think is a fabulous compliment, she will always look for the hidden meaning. In this case, she may wonder if the guy is spending too much time thinking about his ex when he should be focused on her.
8. YOUR HAIR LOOKS BETTER…
It does not matter what a man chooses to stick on the end of this one either. No matter how well-intended a guy may be, this is going to be interpreted along the lines of, “Wow, you look awful with your hair like that!” Again, for guys, subtlety is the way to go. A man is much better of waiting for an occasion where he thinks a woman looks particularity fantastic and say something like, “Wow, I really love your hair like that. You look gorgeous.”
9. IT’S A GUY THING, YOU WON’T GET IT.
Men say so many things perfectly innocently that they don’t even think could result in hurt feelings or an angry reaction, but the male and female brain are quite different when it comes to these matters. A woman will probably take that statement as a put-down. A man may as well just say something like, “It’s a guy thing, and you are too stupid to understand it.”
10. IS THAT YOUR REAL HAIR?
This is definitely something many women don’t want to be forced to come up with an answer for. And once again, this may be a perfectly innocent question as far as the guy is concerned. It does not necessarily mean that he’s going to think any less of her if she colors her hair or wears extensions or whatever. A guy is better off to just wait it out, and if the relationship goes places, you’re bound to get the answer eventually.
11. HOW MANY GUYS HAVE YOU SLEPT WITH?
This is the kind of question that swirls around in a man’s head with great regularity after he starts a new relationship. This is also one of those questions that have the potential of doing more damage to the guy asking than it is to the woman being asked. Most of the time, a guy really doesn’t want to know the answer to this question, but a kind of morbid curiosity drives him to finally ask this uber-awkward question. In many cases, the answer to this one is not what the guy was hoping for, and then there’s the question of whether or not it’s an accurate count or one that’s been “downsized.”
12. HAVE YOU GAINED WEIGHT?
As many times as we’ve driven home the point that a guy can often ask questions that he’s asking perfectly innocently, this is one that really isn’t defensible no matter who’s rulebook your playing from. Any man dumb enough to say this probably deserves what he’s going to get after the words leave his lips.