There are certain questions that inevitably strike fear into the heart of anyone being asked them in the context of a marriage or romantic relationship.
No matter how many cute, sweet and romantic things you find to say to your boyfriend or girlfriend on a regular basis, when you’re hit with one of these humdingers out of the blue, knowing what to say and how to say say it can be absolutely mind-boggling.
One such question is the inevitable, “Does this make me look fat?” posed just as you’re heading out the door to a big event.
That one is relatively easy to navigate, of course. The answer is always, and forever, a resounding, “No! Of course, not. You look amazing.”
But when your boyfriend or girlfriend asks, “Why do you love me?”, it can understandably reduce even the most self-assured among us into deer in the headlights as you watch the entire life of your relationship pass before your eyes.
Paralyzed with fear, your mind becomes numbingly blank.
Before you is someone you actually care about. You do love them. You can even see yourself making a life with them, or perhaps you’ve already decided to. But right now, under this kind of pressure, you can’t think of a single meaningful thing to say regarding exactly why you love them.
Oh, no! Why haven’t you prepared for this moment? It comes in every relationship. You should have known better. At least, that’s what you tell yourself as your mind races, your heart pounds, and the silence grows deafening.
There are so many reasons you love this person, it’s just that, at the moment, you can’t bring a single, solitary one to mind.
They look at you with tears welling up in those puppy-dog eyes, beseeching you for an answer. Your silence starts to confirm their worst fear — that they are unlovable.
At this point, almost any answer could potentially save the relationship.
This situation can go one of two ways:
- A highly-involved dramatic performance complete with an award-worthy emotional meltdown … but let’s not go there
- A display of tears, but of joy and comfort rather than of pain and sorrow, along with a meaningful deepening of the intimacy in your relationship … let’s do that!
Ah, of course. But how?
First, take a deep breath and collect yourself.
Recognize the real reason the man or woman you love is asking you this specific question: “Why do you love me?”
It’s likely they are feeling insecure about your relationship, and, even more likely, that they are feeling deeply insecure about themselves.
They may be finding it hard to love themselves, in general or in the moment, and they’re looking to you — the person they trust, love and value above all others — for validation they are worthy of love and they are, indeed, lovable.
Look them in the eye and, if possible, hold them in one of those close hugs that tells a fellow human being they are not alone. That they can count on you. That you’ve got their back.
Then, tell them all the wonderful things you know and feel are lovable about them.
To help keep you light on your toes in case you’re caught off-guard, look to the list of romantic things you can say in response below.
Here are 12 sweet things to say to your boyfriend or girlfriend when they ask, “Why do you love me?”
1. “I love you because you are you. You’re not like anyone else, and you are brave and strong and willing to be you. That inspires me.”
2. “You are like sunshine itself, and I feel better when I’m with you.”
3. “I love how I feel when I’m with you.”
4. “You accept me for me. I don’t have to hide. You let me be myself, and I thank you for that. It’s amazing to be loved by you.”
5. “You make me feel more alive than anyone ever has.”
6. “You make me want to be a better person.”
7. “You teach me how to be a better partner. You encourage me, support me and let me know how I can best support you.”
8. “You complete me. Before I met you, I never felt whole. With you in my life, I am.”
9. “I love you for your passion for life. It’s contagious.”
10. “You make me feel strong.”
11. “I love your heart. The world is better for having you in it. And I’m lucky I get to call you my love.”
12. “You and me, we’re just good together.”
Now you know why they asked the question, that it’s less about why you love them and more about them needing to receive validation that they are lovable, and how to reply in a way that meets that need.
With these 12 sweet phrases, you can strengthen your relationship and be a true source of support for the person you really, truly do love for many, many good reasons.